


Expectations

by JayceCarter



Series: Soulmates in the Wasteland [5]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Time, Mistaken Identity, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Kissing, Not Canon Compliant, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-01 18:25:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11492091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayceCarter/pseuds/JayceCarter
Summary: John Hancock is used to people judging him, to them throwing him away, but when his new mate won't even give him a chance because he is a ghoul, he realizes how much it bothers him. Can he get her to trust him, or will even his mate turn her back on him?Scarlett has lived her entire life in Diamond City, and was raised knowing how dangerous ghouls can be. When she discovers her mate is a ghoul, can she overcome her prejudice to discover what they could have, or will she let old hatreds destroy them both?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this will be a shorter story and it will run along side the other ones in the series but not really intersect much in terms of the other main stories.
> 
> ALSO, in this AU, the Mayor of Diamond City was never replaced with a synth. Why? Because I say so. lol. :)

 

John lounged on his couch, head over the arm rest, leg over the back. Fuck, it was hot. He didn’t sweat like he did when he was still human, so the heat fucked with him.

 

He also didn’t die of heat stroke, so that was something. The rads meant he was always cooking a bit, so who cared about a few degrees?

 

“You going to get up and do shit today?” Fahrenheit shoved his leg off the couch.

 

“Maybe. Haven’t decided yet. Figured even a mayor gets some time off.”

 

“Fuck your time off, John. You’ve been doing shit for two weeks, ever since Deacon came through town.”

 

John moved his hat over his face to try and drown her out. Yeah, he knew he’d been less productive than usual as of late. But, fuck, even that stupid spy ends up with a mate?

 

Sometimes he wondered how he’d ended up where he was. Growing up, he’d had good future. Good parents, a brother, a chance. And what does he do? Turns into a junky, a criminal, and a ghoul.

 

That wasn’t even the worst part. Fuck, at least he tried to help people. Maybe he didn’t do it as neat and clean as others, but he tried. It was the way people saw him. He’d grown so used to being hated, he didn’t mind playing the villain now. Wouldn’t matter what he did, people still judged him.

 

So he and his shotgun gave ‘em the monster they assumed he was.

 

But now, even Deacon, the pathological liar, ends up with a mate. That stung. ghouls got mates, but it was rarely a happy thing. Because of the radiation damage, ghouls were sterile. Meant that even if they got mates, they’d never have kids, couldn’t give kids to their mate.

 

Bad fucking situation, but still. He wanted a mate. He wanted someone who wanted him, who needed him, who saw him as something other than what he pretended to be.

 

He shook his head and groaned. Fuck that, it’s what he was. He wasn’t just pretending; he was a chem addict. He was violent and dangerous and a criminal. Even if he thought the ends justified the means, didn’t fucking change a thing.

 

He was scum, just a step higher on the ladder than other scum.

 

“No idea what you’re talking about, Fahr. Don’t you have better shit to do than bug me?”

 

She kicked his couch, knocking his hat off and pulling a glare from him. “You have two hours to get off your fucking ass, clean up, and go do stuff.”

 

“In case you’ve forgotten, I’m in charge, not you.”

 

“And in case you’ve forgotten, I don’t give a fuck. I’ll still kick your ass. Two hours, idiot. Don’t think I’m kidding.”

 

Hancock grumbled as he replaced the hat, ready to risk her ire. Yeah, so she’d probably kick his ass, especially since he wasn’t about to hit her, but it was worth it. Maybe he’d feel something.

 

Pain was better than nothing.

 

At least, he thought that until a pain ran through his temples. He jerked off the couch, rolling to the side so he fell onto all four on the ground. What the fuck? Bad mentats?

 

Was he finally going feral? Had the chems or rads finally destroyed enough of his brain that it was calling it quits?

 

He sucked in air, fingers digging into the floorboards, until he sensed something. Excitement? He wasn’t fucking excited. Shit, ferals went through some nonsense, didn’t they?

 

As the pain receded, he realized what it was.

 

His mate.

 

He had a mate.

 

#

 

Scarlett adjusted her dress and ran her fingers through her hair. She’d taken an hour to clean up, to tell Vadim she was headed out. The first time meeting your mate was important, and she wanted to look nice.

 

She’d have preferred to stay inside the city, but that wasn’t possible. Most people weren’t allowed in the city, and she wasn’t going to risk him being turned away just because he was an unknown trader or farmer from far away.

 

And he was coming. She felt it in their link, the way he neared. He covered distance fast, and even though she knew he’d run into trouble, he never panicked. Whoever he was, he didn’t frighten easily.

 

What was he like?

 

Scarlett had dreamed of finding a mate for years. The Diamond City Inn wasn’t exactly the most romantic place, but it was safe. Vadim and Yefim looked out for her, she had friends, but nothing else. The city was small, a tiny corner of the commonwealth she’d lived her entire life in.

 

She’d had flings, like her failed attempts with Travis, but they were never right. Those were fun to have while waiting for the main event. They seemed so shallow compared to what she knew she’d get when she found her own mate. So her flings had never lasted long or gone far.

 

She poured herself into her work, into her sheltered life, and waited.

 

Now? Her waited was finally over.

 

Guards passed some of the time, nodding at her. She knew all of them, grew up with many of them. She’d headed toward the bridge outside of the city. Far enough for some privacy, but close enough a good scream would have help coming.

 

She was a hopeless romantic, not stupid.

 

Down the road, she spotted him. The link told her it was him, though she could see no details. He wore road leathers, a hat, a red bandana over his face. He was thin, but walking with steady steps that said he didn’t care. He had a shotgun tucked beneath his arm, casually as if the thing was almost another limb for him.

 

Clearly not a farmer. Minuteman, maybe? A merc, even.

 

She couldn’t consider he might be a raider or a gunner. Life couldn’t be that cruel to her.

 

He moved close enough she could see his eyes. Black. The scarred skin around them, the area where the bridge of his nose should be but clearly wasn’t, it all said the same thing.

 

She stumbled backwards. Her mate was a ghoul.

 

#

 

Hancock couldn’t say her reaction surprised him. Most Diamond City folks wouldn’t be thrilled to find they’d landed a ghoul as their mate. Still, didn’t exactly give him hope of a happy mating.

 

“Whoa, sister. Ain’t about to hurt you.” His rough voice didn’t calm her, but fuck, that wasn’t a shock either.

 

Then he took a closer look at her.

 

Fuck.

 

He knew her. Little Scarlett, well, not so little anymore. She’d grown up there, just like him, just like his brother. He’d stolen his first kiss from her, and she’d nailed him in the balls for the attempt.

 

“Stay away from me,” she said, moving away. “I’ll scream and the guards will mow you down.”

 

Right. So telling her who he was wasn’t going to do shit, either. She’d probably just nail him in the balls again, and it had taken ice and days to recover the last time. “Names Hancock.” He set his shotgun down, then held his hands up. “Already said, ain’t gonna hurt you. Sorry I ain’t exactly what you were expecting.”

 

“I was expecting someone human.”

 

“Yeah, figured as much. The whole panicking shit says as much. Why don’t you sit and talk for a minute? I’ll stay over here. Who knows, maybe I’ll win ya over. I’m more charming than I look.”

 

It was then he realized, she didn’t even have a weapon. She was outside the city gates without even a weapon? Fucking stupid. It made his chest tight, but he pushed that away and sat on a rock far enough away she wouldn’t feel crowded.

 

#

 

Scarlett wanted to run. She wanted to forget this whole mess. This stole away everything from her, every dream she’d had about her life. She’d wanted a mate, a family, everything.

 

Instead, she got a ghoul. He wouldn’t even age and die, so she’d never be free of him. He’d outlive her, bond to someone else, and she’d have nothing she’d ever wanted.

 

She wanted to leave, but her legs refused to work. Her options were to sit down or fall down, and she wasn’t willing to fall down around him.

 

So, she stumbled to the side and took a spot on a rock across from Hancock.

 

Hancock. What sort of name was that anyway? He had to be a raider, only idiots like that picked single names.

 

“What’s your name, sunshine?”

 

“None of your business.”

 

“Guess I’ll keep using sunshine, then. You from Diamond City? You look like a city girl. The fuck are you doing out here without a gun?”

 

“There are guards around.” She wrapped her arms around her waist and tried not to sound defensive. How dare he question her. She could take care of herself just fine, and she didn’t need some strange ghoul raider to do it for her.

 

“Yeah, but they’re too fucking far away. I could have you out of here in a heartbeat and they’d never know. Super Mutants like to pick off pretty little city girls like you, and trust me, a guard ain’t gonna do shit to stop that.”

 

She scooted back on the rock, as if that extra inch made a bit of difference. “Is that what you plan to do?”

 

He shook his head, though he’d pulled out a blade and had started to roll it across his knuckles. He didn’t look at it, like he did it so much he didn’t even realize he’d done it then. “Nah. Ain’t the type to force shit on people. Too many assholes in the world and too many good people not willing to do anything about it.”

 

“Is that what you think you are? A good person?”

 

He released a harsh laugh. “Not even close. I’m an asshole, no two ways about that, but I don’t hurt innocents. I get it, this isn’t what you wanted, but I’d give you a good life. Take care of you, treat you well. Give me a chance, sunshine.”

 

She didn’t answer, just staring at him, gaze tracing the ridges of scarring peeking out from the bandanna. “Let me see your face.”

 

He didn’t hesitate. He reached up and pulled down the bandanna, revealing a face like so many other ghouls. No nose, just scarred skin where his lips should have been. She had no idea what was on her face, but whatever it was he read.

 

He pulled the cloth back into place. “Right. Should have fucking figured, huh? You smoothskins don’t exactly get all wet for irradiated freaks. You’re heading back into that city and you ain’t coming back out, right? Gonna just hide behind the walls instead of giving me a chance, ain’t ya?”

 

Scarlett stood and backed away. “We never had a chance.”

 

“Yeah, figured as much. Go on, I ain’t gonna stop ya. You ever need anything-“

 

“-I don’t. Not from you.”

 

He nodded, like he’d expected nothing else, but she turned and fled before she could admit how damned much the sorrow through their link hurt her, before she could think about the part of her that wanted to ignore everything she’d heard about ghouls, the part that was desperate for her mate no matter what.

 

And what she felt from him, the ache, the pain, the shame? Yeah, that hurt a hell of a lot.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

John threw the empty whiskey bottle against the wall. It shattered, shards flying back at him, but he didn’t care. He’d been back in Goodneighbor for a few hours, and he was crawling the walls.

 

Everything inside of him needed to get to Scarlett. He needed to touch her, to taste her, to make sure she was okay. It was an instinct him so strong he couldn’t shake it.

 

Not like he had a lot of choice. He wasn’t about to go to Diamond City. Sure, he snuck in from time to time, but she’d just call the guards. He’d been honest, he wasn’t gonna force shit on her.

 

And through their link? Upset. He sure as fuck hadn’t been what she’d expected. Not like he could blame her.

 

Fuck. His hands shook as he grabbed a case of chems and flopped down on the couch.

 

Scarlett? He hadn’t caught sight of her since he left Diamond City after the mayor kicked out the ghouls. She hadn’t left, and he hadn’t blamed her. She’d just lost her parents to a feral attack, and she wasn’t the sort of girl who’d live long outside those walls.

 

She’d been sweet but snarky, quick with her words and with a hell of a lotta charm. Still, she was soft. A girl who lived her whole life inside those gates, protected but isolated.

 

Yeah, finding him out there couldn’t have gone worse.

 

What if she knew it was him? Would she remember the good times? Fuck, there’s been a lot of those. They’d sit on top of the mayor’s office when the sun would dip behind the wall, her leaning against his side. Good buddies, even though he was the trouble maker her parents hated. He was always getting her into trouble, pushing her to do things she didn’t want to, but things she loved.

 

Like the time they’d put an entire crate of Nuka Cola on Arturo’s tab in the Dugout Inn, or the time they snuck a detoothed mole rat into Piper’s office.

 

Yeah, they’d had some good times.

 

Then her parents had been killed and she’d just. . . stopped. She stopped wanting to see him, just retreating into herself, moving in with Vadim and Yefim who didn’t have much love for John, either.

 

They all preferred his brother, Patrick, now the mayor. Fuck, his parents had preferred Patrick too, naming him after their father where John, the younger kid, was give a name probably picked out of a fucking hat.

 

Not Scarlett, though. She’d never trusted Patrick, never gave into that charm that his brother had, even though it was pretty damned clear Patrick wanted her. He’d been head over heels for the girl since they were kids, and the fact that she ran around with a delinquent like John?

 

Yeah, that pissed off the older McDonough brother.

 

John picked up some buffout, dropping two pills into his palm. Fuck, guess he won that contest with his brother. The bitterness made the pills hard to get down, but he was a pro at this if nothing else.

 

He settled himself into the couch, ready to ride the chems until life didn’t hurt so fucking bad.

 

#

 

 Scarlett ran her hands over her thighs, wiping the sweat from them. The heat of the day made her sick, her hair sticking to her neck and forehead. “How far are we going?”

 

The guard shook his head. “Not far, Scarlett. Vadim just needed you to look over the order before we deal with hauling it into the gates. Easier if someone okays it or turns it back out here.”

 

She frowned, gaze skirting behind her, wanting to turn back. This might have been the furthest she’d ever gone, following the guard past the junkyard and toward the back of Diamond City.

 

“Caravans don’t usually take the city route. Too many losses.”

 

He shrugged. “Guess not, but these did.”

 

Scarlett slowed before her feet stopped moving.

 

This was wrong. There was no way to ignore it anymore. When the guard had asked her to follow him, explaining Vadim was busy and needed her to okay a shipment, she’d gone without question.

 

She okayed plenty of shipments for the bar. But they happened, at the farthest, outside gates. Not this far. Not alone.

 

The guard stopped, but didn’t turn around at first. “Figured it out, did you? Thought we’d have another mile before you caught on.”

 

“Who are you?”

 

He turned, and for the first time she focused on his face. She had no idea who he was. He wasn’t a guard she knew.

 

“A concerned citizen. Saw you outside with that fucking ghoul. What, you thought no one would see? No one would notice that you ran off to screw one? What are you doing fucking with something like that?”

 

Scarlett shook her head. “I wasn’t fucking with him. He’s my. . .” She couldn’t say it.

 

The man tilted his head. “Your mate? Oh well, isn’t that interesting? You got any idea who he was?”

 

“Said his name was Hancock.”

 

He laughed, head falling back. “Oh, fuck, you really lost out, didn’t you? Fucking Hancock. Of any ghoul, you got the worse of that shitty lot. The thing is, mates are important shit. People don’t bond at random. You bonded to a monster like that? Means somethings wrong with you anyway.” He walked up to Scarlett, fast enough she couldn’t move away.

 

She opened her mouth to scream, but he struck her in the chest. She gasped, falling to the ground, struggling to get her lungs to work. It was like she’d forgotten how to breathe.

 

He knelt beside her and wrapped his hand in her hair, forcing her face up to his. “Listen, would you? I don’t want to repeat myself. Filth like him and you ain’t welcome in our city. He shoulda known better, and you shoulda known better. Figured I’d give him a reminder of that fact, huh? Deliver him a nice message with you all bloodied up for him. Leave you at his doorstep.”

 

Scarlett whimpered and tried to move away, but his grip wouldn’t give her an inch of space.

 

“Don’t worry, I ain’t gonna rape you. Who the fuck knows what you’ve let that ghoul do to you already. Not putting my dick anywhere near that cunt of yours; who knows what I’d catch.”

 

She took a breath, finally able to draw in a full one. That was something, right? She should be glad.

 

He laughed at her face. “Ah, don’t get anything twisted. You’ll probably wish I had and just let you go afterward by the time I’m done with ya. Make sure you never come back to this city or I’ll make sure you fucking regret it.”

 

He wrapped a cloth around her head, pressing it into her mouth to muffle any screams, explaining he’d wanted to move further away but she’d caught on to quick.

 

Living her life in Diamond City meant violence wasn’t she knew about, something she dealt with often. She lived safe behind the walls.

 

The man never told her his name, just laughed at her, called her a ghoul whore, insulted her as he hit her, kicked her. She rolled from the blows, tried to curl into a ball, but nothing seemed to help. She reached through her link, but found. . . nothing.

 

No, not nothing, just nothing that made any sense, like he wasn’t conscious. Or if he was, he was barely awake. Maybe that was best, because she didn’t need him. He’d done enough already.

 

She tried to rise at one point, but her hands slipped in the blood.

 

When she passed out, she happily went with it.

 

Anything was better than this. Maybe she'd wake up to find herself back at the Inn, with Vadim's booming voice an Yefim soft voice, and where there were not fake guards and no ghoul mates.

 

Maybe.

 

#

 

John woke to a foot in his side. He had a blade to the crotch of the kicker before he bothered to gasp.

 

“Got nothing to slice off, asshole.” Fahr glared down at him.

 

“Doesn’t mean it won’t hurt.” He pulled the blade away and sat up, wincing from the light. When was the last time he’d gone on a bender like that? Fucking years.

 

He’d taken almost all his stash, taking more the moment he started to think again. The whole night was spent in a wonderful hazy mess where he got to pretend anything he wanted. He'd pretended Scarlett had thrown her arms around him, that she'd smiled at him, that she hadn't run away.

 

Fuck, he preferred pretending. 

 

“Didn’t call for a wake-up call. What are you doing here?”

 

“Woman got dropped at out gate, beat to hell, barely alive.”

 

“She awake?” He rubbed his face with his hand, trying to wake himself up, trying to get his brain to work. Something sat on the side of his consciousness, but he couldn’t figure it out.

 

“No. Amari knocked her out.”

 

“And why are you kicking me awake then? Ain’t the first time, won’t be the last. She wake up, we’ll go deal with the asshole who did it. Case you forgot, I ain't a friendly face for damsels in distress.”

 

Fahr tossed a bloody piece of paper at him. “Because this was for you, John. They were lookin’ to get your attention.”

 

John lifted the paper, squinting to try and make some sense of the blur. Fuck, his eyes were gonna be damned near useless. “Read it, would you? I can’t fucking see.”

 

“You stupid junky.” Fahr pulled the paper away but held it out so he could make out the letters.

 

_Here’s your whore, Hancock_

 

If he could have gone pale, he would have. He got to his feet, stumbling, limbs not listening worth shit. He reached through the link. Pain? But muted.

 

Right. She was knocked out, and he sure as hell felt that she was close. In Goodneighbor.

 

He’d gotten high as fuck and passed out while someone had hurt his mate. He hadn't saved her, hand't done anything. What a worthless piece of shit mate he was. First night as a mate and he’d fucked it all up already, and as usual, someone else paid the price for his fuck-up.

 

“Where are you going?” Fahr called the words as John all but fell down the stairs.

 

“To check on my fucking mate.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Hancock swallowed as he walked into the room, the scent of blood striking him. Was it something about going ghoul? His sense of smell was so much better than it had been as a human. Maybe it had to do with how ferals hunted, by sound and smell, their eyes degrading.

 

He’d already started to lose some of his sight.

 

“Hancock, I didn’t expect you,” Dr. Amari said. “I heard about the note. Do you know her?”

 

He nodded, walking closer. “Sorta. She’s my mate.”

 

“Your mate? I wasn’t aware you had one.”

 

Yeah, he hadn’t really known long either. John drug his hand down his face. “Yeah, it’s new. Her name is Scarlett. She’s from Diamond City.”

 

Amari nodded, her face lacking pity. She wasn’t a woman to offer pity, just to offer good fucking medical treatment, which was why she got to stay. “Any conditions you’re aware of that I should know about?”

 

“No. I don’t really know anything about her. Will she be okay?”

 

“Yes, she should be. Whoever did this seemed to want her to live, and thankfully they left her where she’d be found, at the front gate. If they’d left her somewhere else? No, I don’t think she’d have survived. There doesn’t appear to be any internal bleeding, but she had a broken rib, a dislocated shoulder, and a great deal of other more superficial injuries. She’s responding to treatment well.”

 

“When will she wake up?”

 

“By tomorrow, most likely. Right now, I have her on Med-x, because she was hysterical when awake. I couldn’t get close enough to treat her. Perhaps with you here, she’ll be easier to help.”

 

He couldn’t hide the bitter sound that escaped his throat. “Not likely, Doc. She isn’t thrilled with having a ghoul as a mate. And this? This ain’t gonna change that feeling.” He moved forward until he stood right beside the bed.

 

He was able to finally look at her. Yeah, she’d grown up. That skinny teenager had grown into a woman at some point, though he couldn’t see anything beneath the baggy clothing Amari had dressed her in.

 

For the best, because the bruises he could already see made him close his eyes to calm himself.

 

“John?” Amari’s voice broke his concentration, enough that he turned his head. She must have been talking and he didn’t hear it, because she never called him John.

 

“Sorry, what?”

 

“I said that some contact would help her heal and likely calm her.”

 

“Oh, we ain’t like that. Bond aint sealed yet.”

 

“John?” This time the name came from Scarlett, soft and slurred, her eyebrows drawn together.

 

“Yeah, sunshine, I’m here.” But, she didn’t know his first name. What the hell?

 

“Missed you,” she said, tears leaking down her cheeks even though she didn’t open her eyes.

 

Right. She was thinking of the old John, the man he used to be.

 

Before he could think of how to react, she reached up, clumsy, grabbing his arm. The bond sealed, but she didn’t seem to notice. Probably too high to care. She only clutched him tighter, then yanked him closer and pressed her lips against his. It wasn’t much of a kiss, but he felt it down to his fucking toes. “Missed you so much. Don’t leave me, John, don’t leave me again.”

 

He cursed, then pressed his forehead against hers. Not a point in not touching her now, was there? Because this was just his fucking luck that she'd end up sealing their bond when he was trying to act like a fucking gentleman. “Yeah, sunshine, course. I won’t go anywhere.”

 

“Promise?”

 

He sighed and settled into a chair beside the bed, not even trying to extract his arm, her nails digging into him. “Yeah, I promise. Won’t go anywhere till you tell me to.”

 

And he knew that would be the moment she woke up.

 

#

 

Scarlett woke, someone touching her arm. What the hell? She never slept with anyone.

 

She cracked her eyes open, gunk making the movement difficult. How long had she been asleep? She gazed over at the person touching her.

 

A ghoul?

 

Her mate.

 

She was off the bed and stumbling backward before the rest of her brain caught up to her. She tried to catch herself with her arm, but it wouldn’t move. A sling kept it pinned to her side.

 

“Careful, Scarlett. You’ll hurt yourself.” Hancock didn’t stand, setting his hands in his lap like he knew any movement from him would make it all worse.

 

“How do you know my name? What did you do?”

 

“Didn’t do shit. You told me your name while you were high. Thought I was someone named John. I mean, that’s my name, but-“

 

“-don’t you dare talk about him. You’re not him.” Just hearing the name had her pulling her shoulders back.

 

John. Damn, she missed John. It had been years since she’d seen him, since she’d heard from him. He’d run off years before, but Hancock didn’t deserve to even know his name.

 

Hancock nodded, ruined lips pressed together. “Yeah, sure sunshine. And, I didn’t do this. You remember that, right? I didn’t hurt ya.”

 

She drug her tongue over her lips, trying to help. Her mouth was dry, throat sore. Had she been screaming? She couldn’t remember at first.

 

The guard.

 

She sucked in a breath, knees giving out so she slid down to the floor.

 

Hancock still didn’t move, only nodded. “Yeah. You wanna tell me about the fucker who did it? Because I got a taste for blood when it comes to people who fuck with what’s mine.”

 

“I’m not yours.”

 

“Maybe not, but he thought you were, and it’s why he did it. Good a reason as any other.” Hancock didn't move, but she caught something in his face that made her shudder. Something dark and all too willing to fall to violence. 

 

She tried to keep her breathing even, but shook her head. “Never saw him before. And aren’t you going to tell me how you’re some innocent sweet person?”

 

“Nah, sister. I ain’t into lying when I can help it. You deserve to know the truth about me. I’m vicious as they come when I need to be. I help those who need helping, and I hurt those who need hurting, and the man who did this to you? Oh, he’s in need of a lot of hurting.”

 

That sounded nice, but it was bullshit. She knew it. After what the man had said? That there wasn’t a worse ghoul out there? Yeah, everything that poured from his lips was a lie.

 

“I want to leave,” she whispered.

 

“Wish you could. When you still thought I was John, you yanked me down and gave me a hell of a kiss.”

 

And there went her breathing. She couldn’t leave. She needed him now, couldn’t go anywhere. Oh, and she had nowhere to go, either. Maybe, if she could get back to Vadim. He’d protect her, even if he found out about Hancock. He’d never turn her away.

 

But then it would put him in danger from whoever that man was. She couldn’t put him in danger, him or Yefim. They were her only real family anymore.

 

A rag was thrown into her lap, causing her to jump. Hancock pointed at her cheek, and she realized she was crying again.

 

“Yeah, I can’t say I blame ya for the reaction. All I can say is, we’ll figure this shit out. I will find the man who did this and deal with him. I’ve heard rumors of a serum that would let you be away from me, make it so you didn’t need my touch, and I’ll find that. I swear, I’ll figure this out.”

 

“So I’m trapped?”

 

He sighed, leaning back, looking as miserable and she felt. “Yeah. If anyone knows how well biology can fuck us, it’s me, sunshine.”

 

#

 

John watched Scarlett from the doorway of her room. He’d put her on the top floor of the statehouse. No safer place, and safe was something they both needed right then.

 

He couldn’t settle as he watched her move slowly, clearly hurting.

 

And to think he had no leads for who’d done it to her. None yet, at least. He’d find the asshole even if he had to tear apart the whole fucking commonwealth to do it. Not that he had much to go on. She hadn’t told him exactly what happened, and he hadn’t asked.

 

She walked around the room, touching the items in the room like they might snap at her.  

 

“You need anything, only gotta ask. I’ll make sure you get it. Daisy’ll bring up some extra clothes. Can’t head back to Diamond City, but you can send word there to anyone you want. Got trustworthy supply lines set up.”

 

She nodded, but didn’t speak. Did she have people back in the city? She must have someone. Vadim took her in after her parents died, and his brother, Yefim, doted on her. Did she have a boyfriend? A lover? Someone waiting for her?

 

“Door has a good lock on it, but the neighborhood watch’ll keep a close eye, too. Only people in the Statehouse are ones I can trust. Fahrenheit will be here, too. Six foot tall woman who’ll skin anyone who tries to get in here, so, you’re as safe as could be.”

 

“Do you have a key to the door?”

 

Ouch. “Nah, sunshine, I don’t. Even if I did, I wouldn’t use it. You’re safe here, even from me.”

 

She didn’t look like she believed him, but she said nothing else, just sat on the foot of the bed.

 

He hated to ask but. . . he had to. “Can you tell me what happened?”

 

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” There went those eyebrows, drawing together.

 

“I know, sunshine, and I’m sorry to ask. But, if I’m gonna track his ass down, I need to know everything you know.”

 

“You’re leaving?”

 

“I’ll stay here. I’ll send the best merc I know out to find him and haul him back here. I just need a place for him to start.”

 

She stared down at one of her hands, the other still in the sling. “He was six foot, maybe? Not that big, dressed as a guard. Brown hair, brown eyes. Scar on his left cheek, another on his hand. He was right handed, at least, that’s the hand he held a blade in.” She dropped her head forward, voice coming out softer but she didn’t stop. “He said he had an order for Vadim for me to okay. I followed him behind Diamond City until I realized something was wrong. He said he saw you and I together and wanted to make a point, that we didn’t belong in Diamond City. He said something had to be wrong with me if I ended up the mate to a ghoul.” She trembled, leaning forward.

 

“Fuck, sunshine. Can I come over there? Because you’re killing me right now.”

 

She nodded, so he approached slowly, sitting beside her. He didn’t wrap an arm around her, only leaned closer to his arm brushed hers.

 

Her voice continued. “He said he needed to remind us both that we weren’t welcome in Diamond City, said he’d make me regret it if I ever came back. That’s my home, though. I’ve never left it before and now I can’t even go back.”

 

The longing in her voice broke his heart.

 

He lifted a hand and set it on her back, rubbing in small circles, slow enough she could tell him to stop. “You’ll go back. I promise, we’ll fix this. As soon as MacCready finds this asshole, you can go back.”

 

“Vadim is probably worried sick. I haven’t not come home since I was a teenager, and back then I didn’t even live with him.”

 

John almost laughed, thinking back to when he’d dropped her off at dawn after deciding to paint the wall pink. Vadim had been standing outside, arms crossed over his chest. He’d thrown John against the door after Scarlett had gone inside and threatened him like any good pseudo-uncle would.

 

Not that John and Scarlett had been like that. Sure, he’d thought about it, but she’d always been clear.

 

She wanted a mate. She wanted to wait until she found a mate.

 

Had she waited all that time?

 

Wouldn’t that be some weird fucking turn of events that she’d turned him down only to be waiting for him.

 

“We’ll send a message first thing in the morning. Fuck, we’ll send it with MacCready, make sure it gets right to Vadim and Yefim.”

 

She frowned. “I never said anything about Yefim.”

 

Fuck.

 

“No, but I’ve been to the Dugout Inn. Believe it or not, most of us ghouls were human at one time. Most people know those brothers.”

 

“You were in Diamond City? Did I know you?”

 

He didn’t like lying, so he tried to skirt the truth. “Do I really seem like the sort of man you would have spoken to?”

 

“How would I know? I don’t know anything about you.”

 

“You want to?”

 

“I’m staying with you. I’m your mate. I probably should.”

 

His hand rubbed larger circles, sliding from her lower back up to her shoulders. “Well, told you, my name is John Hancock. I’m the Mayor of Goodneighbor, been Mayor a long time. Ain’t a lot more to tell.” At least nothing that would make her feel any better. “What about you?”

 

 “There isn’t a lot to tell. I was born and raised in Diamond City. I work at the Inn there as a waitress.” She shrugged, but leaned back against the touch, her back arching into it.

 

Hancock noted the movement but didn’t draw attention to it, only smiled at the way even instinct caused her to soften toward him. “Pegged you for a girl who hadn’t left the city. Maybe, if you’re feeling up to it tomorrow, I’ll take you to see my town?”

 

“I haven’t heard much about Goodneighbor that makes me want to see it,” she admitted.

 

“You’re with the Mayor, sunshine. Makes you safe as could be. I’ll take you to the bar for a drink, we can stop in at the memory den, and I’ll even introduce you to Kent, who does that Silver Shroud radio.” He wanted to promise her that he’d never let anything hurt her again, that he’d keep her safe, that in his town, no one would dare fuck with her, but he knew she wouldn’t believe any of that anyway.

 

“Are you asking me on a date?” The flirting rolled off her tongue, but then her back straightened. Embarrassment floated through their link, as if she’d just realized what she’d done.

 

“Oh, if I thought you’d go on a date with me, I’d take ya now, sister.” He gave her a smile, trying on for his best charm. He’d always managed charm, but this time? It fucking mattered. He didn’t have good looks to rest on, didn’t have a reputation she’d like, all he had was his charm and he planned to whore that shit out.

 

Red covered her cheeks. “Right. Well, I should get some sleep.”

 

He laughed and stood. “Sure, sure. You had a hold of my arm all damned day, so you should be fine on contact till tomorrow. You need anything, you can ask one of the guards or come get me. I crash on the couch in my office for the most part.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek before leaving her, enjoying the way confusion floated through their link along with something else he savored.

 

Curiosity.

 

He’d take curiosity. He could work with curiosity.

 

Curiosity was a good fucking start.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Scarlett woke up with a gasp. Her gaze searched the darkness.

 

Goodneighbor. The statehouse. She pushed herself up with her good arm, drawing in deep breaths. Everything ached, her shoulder, her ribs, all her muscles.

 

Everything hurt.

 

Across the link, she felt nothing. Hancock had to be sleeping. Strange, that she reached for him already out of instinct. 

 

She tried to relax, to consider sleep, but everything hurt too much.

 

The floor creaked beneath her feet when she got out of the bed. The door groaned, and she realized, the whole place made noise. 

 

A guard spotted her and offered a tip of his hat, though he kept his distance. “Hancock’s in his office. One floor down, sweetheart.”

 

Scarlett nodded and went down the stairs slowly, hips painful from the movements. She gripped the banister to help herself. Damn it, she’d never hurt like this before.

 

Finally, she made it to the second floor, met with the open doors to Hancock’s office. She slid into the room, then closed the door behind her, grateful for once that something didn’t make noise in protest.

 

Hancock laid on the couch, hat on the ground beside him, bald and scarred head visible, still dressed in that same red outfit. It gave Scarlett a chance to study him safely.

 

In some ways, he looked like any other ghoul, though it had been years since she’d seen another ghoul, let alone been so close to one. She expected revulsion, but none came.

 

This was her mate. The bond was sealed. They were together. He had some idea of a serum that would allow them to live apart, but she’d never heard of such a thing, didn't believe in such a thing.

 

Scarlett wasn’t a coward, though. She’d never been a coward. Perhaps she didn’t know much about the world, but she’d never been one to hide away from what she wanted. She'd wanted a mate for her entire life, and for some reason, she'd been given this man. She didn't know him, didn't understand him, but he was hers.

 

She dropped a knee to the couch beside his hip, her other hand resting on the back of the couch, so she could lean in closer. She wanted to touch him, to run her fingers over the ridges and valleys of his skin. It wasn’t lust, not yet, but interest. How would he feel? Was the skin rough? Warm?

 

Balancing with her only usable arm meant she couldn’t touch, though. She brought her other leg to the other side of his hips, so she rested over his lap, but kept her weight off him. The idea of sitting in his lap was too far. Much, much too far. Her now free hand reached out and brushed his cheek.

 

His eyes snapped open and had her freezing. He frowned. “Scarlett?”

 

“Sorry.” She didn’t move, staying still.

 

“Hell of a thing to wake up to.” He set a hand on her thigh. “You not sleeping well?”

 

“No. I kept dreaming of. . .” She dropped her gaze away instead of finishing the statement. She couldn't think about it, not then. She wanted to shove away the memory of the man who had hurt her. Maybe it would be easier if he were dead, but then? He was a faceless man, someone who could have been anyone. Someone who could come from any shadow. She focused on the easier problem. “And I hurt. I couldn’t get comfortable.”

 

“You needing some med-x? I got some, so you ain't gotta go back to Amari.”

 

“No." She shuddered at the though of being helpless again. "I don’t want to pass out again.”

 

“I can dose it better than that. Just a little, to take the edge off?”

 

She moved her fingers again, sliding over the ridge where his eyebrows had been. “You’re warm.”

 

“Radiation. You keep this touching thing up, and you might end up looking just like me.”

 

She frowned and went to pull her hand back.

 

He captured her hand in his. “It’s a joke. We’ll start you on a good rad-x regiment and keep an eye on your numbers just to make sure you don’t end up sick, but you ain’t going ghoul from a bit of touch.”

 

“How did you turn into a ghoul? You said you’d been to Diamond City so you aren’t pre-war.”

 

“Nah, ain’t pre-war. I was chasing a good high and found it in a chem cocktail. Hell of a ride, but woke up like this. You ever been this close to a ghoul, sunshine?”

 

She shook her head and resumed the soft touches against the burns on his face. “Ghouls aren’t allowed in Diamond City, not since they were all kicked out. Even before that, my Dad never let me around them. And then. . .” Her tongue wet her lips as she thought back to getting the news, to Patrick coming and telling her. He’d been so solemn, offering to take her in, to take care of her. Vadim had burst into the room and escorted her out, claiming her as family.  “Well, let’s just say I don’t have a good history when it comes to ferals.”

 

#

 

John wanted to brush his fingers over her cheeks and tell her he was sorry.

 

He remembered her parents dying as well as anyone. He hadn’t been in town at the time, already sneaking off to Goodneighbor every chance he got. His brother gave her the news, and rode on that tragedy to push his agenda and slide into office.

 

It was the tipping point when those two died. They were the perfect Diamond City picture. Pretty, loving couple with a teenage daughter? Yeah, the wholesome image the Great Green Jewel needed. So hearing they’d been torn apart by a feral? It threw the town into chaos.

 

Not just a feral, but a ghoul who lived in the city and went feral. It helped make up the mind of a lot of people on the fence about having ghouls in the city.

 

It never sat right with John, especially with how fast it happened. Or maybe that was just his way of trying to reassure himself that he wouldn’t go that way, too. That he wouldn't lose his fucking mind and go on a slaughtering spree. 

 

“I’m sorry about your history,” he said instead. “But, you know ferals ain’t the same, right? Might look a little alike, but we ain’t the same.”

 

“I know. It doesn’t seem like I know that, but I do.”

 

“Then why were you so damned upset when you saw me?”

 

She let her fingers slip over his ruined lips and dip inside. His mouth was dryer than a human’s, tongue rougher, but that tongue worked just fine and he proved it by wrapping it around her finger.

 

“Because I wanted a family.”

 

Fuck. He released her finger when she pulled it from his mouth.

 

Yeah, that wasn’t what he expected her to say. Maybe because as teenagers, they’d never talked about kids, about families, and his life hadn’t ever had a place for it. That was one thing he couldn’t give her, not ever. Ghouls were sterile, so she wasn’t getting knocked up by him, and as mates? He was her only option.

 

“Yeah, I guess I can see how’d you be upset about that.” What else was there to say? Sorry I’m shooting blanks?

 

She ran her finger down his jaw, then over his throat. Her gaze didn’t meet his, instead focused on his skin, on her touching him. “Just never really thought of myself doing anything else. I figured I’d find a mate, settle down in Diamond City, raise kids, just like my Mom did. I have no idea what else I’d do.” She paused, then released a soft sigh. “No idea what else I will do.”

 

“You’ll figure it out, sunshine. I’ll help ya, however I can.”

 

She shifted, then winced. Right, her ribs.

 

He grasped her hips and shifted her off him until he could stand. She sat on the couch, folding her legs beneath her, watching him as if trying to figure him out.

 

Where the fuck was his med-x? Organization wasn’t ever John’s strong suit, but finally, he located a syringe in his desk. He took a good look at her, estimating weight, because there were some questions you just didn’t ask a woman, then dosed it.

 

“This won’t knock you out, but it will make you a bit sleepy and take away your pain. Probably help you get a few more hours of rest.”

 

Scarlett nodded and stuck her arm out. “Okay.”

 

John wrapped his fingers around her arm, noting the way her pulse moved beneath his grip. At least she hadn’t flinched away, even from the roughness of his skin.

 

Progress? Or just stupid hope?

 

He injected the med-x then tossed the syringe into a waste basket. His thumb rubbed against the spot, soothing the sting he knew she’d have. “You want me to walk you back to your room?”

 

“I don't want to be alone. Could we just sit here a while?”                                      

 

“Sure, sunshine. Think you can keep your lips to yourself? You get handsy when you’re high.” He flashed her a smile before sitting on the couch beside her. He set his arm over the back of the couch, offering a place for her to curl up if she wanted to, but didn’t push it. Damn, he wanted her to.

 

Red tinted her cheeks. “I promise, I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

 

“Hey, now, let’s not get crazy and go that far. Only said that because you look so pretty when you blush.”

 

She tucked her hair behind her ear as she pulled her gaze away. Her eyelids had started to drift down, the med-x hitting her.

 

“Welcome to lean over here, sunshine. Hate to see you fall and give Amari some more work.”

 

Scarlett scooted closer, tucking in against his side, and fuck she fit perfectly. "You promise not to leave?"

 

The words echoed what she'd asked when she'd been high before, when she'd been talking to the John he'd been before. 

 

"Course, Scar." As soon as her old nickname rolled off his tongue, he flinched.

 

"No one's called me that in a long time."

 

"You want me to stop?"

 

She frowned, like deciding if she did. "No. I like it. Only one person called me that, and I miss him. I shouldn’t trust you, you know. I don’t even know you.”

 

“So why are you trusting me? Because this cuddling shit? Seems a lot like trust.”

 

She nuzzled her cheek against his chest. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the bond? I just feel like I already know you.”

 

The words twisted inside him. He was lying to her. She needed to know, deserved to know. He hadn’t told her at first, because it hadn’t been the right time. She'd barely come to terms with him being a ghoul, but learning that she'd known him before? That would have been too much. Why was he lying still?

 

He fucking knew why. Because they’d had something when they were younger, something real, and if she looked at him the way she had when she’d realize he was a ghoul? Fuck, that shit would hurt. Few connected the old him with the new him. His life in Diamond City had ended a long damned time ago, and not many knew he’d turned into a ghoul, and even fewer knew he was Hancock, now.

 

What would they think? Seeing him now, seeing the person he’d turned into. Funny that his brother and him both became Mayors, both ran towns, but did it their own ways. Not that Patrick knew shit about John. He hadn’t spoken a word to him since he left.

 

He needed to tell her. “Look, Scarlett-“

 

Her soft snores interrupted him. She’d fallen asleep.

 

He wasn’t about to wake her up just to piss her off. He’d tell her tomorrow, after their evening, after showing her around. Hell, maybe she wouldn’t kick him in the balls again, but he doubted she’d changed that much in their years apart.

 

John dropped his head back and wrapped his arm around her tighter, pulling her closer. What a fucking mess.

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Scarlett took a deep breath as she walked out of Daisy’s shop. The ghoul- no woman, she reminded herself- had offered to walk Scarlett to the Third Rail where Hancock was supposed to be waiting, but Scarlett had refused.

 

She needed to stand on her own feet, even more so after the attack.

 

She might have never left Diamond City, but she’d never lived in fear, either. She refused to start now. That would be giving in, and she refused to give in.

 

A few people walked around, casting her side long glances then looking away, like they knew better than to even glare at her.

 

Exactly how well was Hancock known? Mayor, sure, but Diamond City didn’t react to their mayor like this.

 

She rounded the corner and ran into a thin, hard body. She scrambled backward, lifting her arm as she flinched.

 

“Whoa, hey now.” A young voice had her focusing on the man who stood in front of her, rifle over his back, hands up. “Scarlett, right? Hancock’s mate?”

 

She took another two steps backward. The answer to that question had been the exact problem last time.

 

“Shi-shoot. Probably a dumb question after, well, you know. Look, I’m RJ MacCready, but most people just call me MacCready.”

 

The name rang bells. “You’re the merc Hancock talked about?”

 

MacCready flashed a smile, puffing his chest out as if it might make him look larger. “That’s right. I’m the best shot in the Commonwealth. Didn’t mean to scare you, I was actually just heading out.”

 

“You’re going to look for. . .” her voice trailed off, unwilling to put words to it.

 

MacCready’s smile faltered for a moment as he stared at her, his gaze noting the sling still around her arm. He pulled his lips back into a grin, though it was too wide and showed too many teeth. “Yeah. I’m pretty damn good at what I do, so it shouldn’t take me more than a few days, okay boss?”

 

“I’m not your boss.”

 

“Well, Hancock’s the boss and you’re his mate. You prefer Mrs. Boss?” MacCready gave her a wink then walked around her, giving her a lot of space. “You give Hancock hell, won’t ya? He could use someone to put him in his place. He’s in the Third Rail, ‘round the corner, just past the ghoul in a tux.”

 

“Be careful,” Scarlett found herself calling out.

 

MacCready turned toward her, smiling as he walked backward. “Always am, Mrs. Boss. Have a nice night.”

 

Scarlett took a deep breath, trying to get her courage back. She pulled at her dress then ran her fingers through her hair, which was foolish because there was only so much she could do, and Daisy had already spent quite a while fixing her up.

 

The music of the Third Rail surprised her, a sultry singer belting out old jazz tunes that drew Scarlett inside. She took the steps slowly, feeling some strange connection to walking down, like she was descending into hell or some stupid analogy like that. Smoke filled everything except for the few pockets where the scent of chems or liquor occupied.

 

At the bar, she spotted Hancock, his red coat and stupid hat hard to miss. He leaned forward, beer bottle in his hand, fingers thumbing at the label. His eyes were narrowed to slits, and his lips moved though he spoke to no one.

 

What was he saying? Through their link, she sense anxiety.

 

She realized it then. He was psyching himself up, giving himself a pep-talk.

 

Somehow, that coming from the seemingly confident man charmed her. He was just as nervous as she was, no matter the show he liked to put on.

 

Finally he sense her, frowning and turning to gaze over his shoulder. He caught sight of her, at the foot of the stairs, and stood up.

 

The smile that slid across his lips was too damned charming to be legal.

 

Scarlett needed to be very careful around him.

 

#

 

Fuck, he was in trouble.

 

Scarlett stood at the foot of those stairs looking like the best sort of trap. She had her hair down and curled, a gift from Daisy, no doubt, the bitch. A pink dress hung to Scarlett’s kness, tight around her waist and he’d bet it tied into a fucking bow at the back, a temptation begging for him to untie it.

 

He shook his head, trying to look calm and collected and knowing perfectly well he was failing.

 

He’d felt her panic a few minutes before, but he also knew the guard was keeping an eye on her. He couldn’t hold her hand every minute or she’d never feel safe. If she’d wanted an escort, she’d have asked for one, but instead she’d wanted to go on her own. He had to let her do that.

 

Within reason, since he’d made sure the guard kept her in their sight. She wasn’t used to the roughness of Goodneighbor.

 

Hancock crossed the room to her. “Hey, sunshine. You look good.”

 

“Do you always wear that outfit?”

 

He stuck his arm out, holding tense a moment until she slid her arm through his. “Yeah, for the most part. It’s the clothes of an old revolutionary hero, John Hancock.”

 

“You stole his name and his clothes?”

 

John walked her through the room, past the people, and up to the bar. “I did. See, he was the original rebel, a troublemaker who did what was right no matter what it took. I wear ‘em to remind myself who I want to be. This town may not seem like much to some folks, but it’s freedom to those of us with nowhere to go. When McDonough kicked the ghouls out of Diamond City, they had nowhere to go. It’s the same story for a lot of folks here. I try and give ‘em a place to live. It might not be pretty, or fancy, but it’s free. See, people in power lose themselves. They start thinking about the power and what they can get with it instead of what they can give with it. I always said, people in power shouldn’t ever be comfortable for long, and I believe that. So, I wear this stupid get-up in case I start to forget that, in case I forget what I promised.”

 

Scarlett took the seat Hancock helped her into, the one facing the bar. “You remind me of someone.”

 

“Your friend?”

 

She nodded, thanking Charlie when he dropped off a drink for her. “Yeah. We grew up together, and he was always getting into trouble, always wanting to make things right, to help people. It got us both into trouble more than a few times. I remember one time, one of the merchants refused to sell a shipments of screws to a ghoul. We snuck into her place that night and removed every single screw from her house. All her furniture, her workbenches, all of ‘em. We sent the screws to the settlement for that ghoul.”

 

John laughed as he remembered that time. Oh, Betty, the woman who managed the shop before Myrna, had been pissed. She’d torn around for weeks afterward, but no one could prove it had been John, especially when sweet little Scarlett gave him an alibi. “Sounds like you were a hellraiser yourself, sister.”

 

She took a drink of her beer, red on her cheeks. “Not really, no. He just brought out that side in me, I guess. Always getting me to do things I’d never do on my own. After he left I just. . . stopped I guess.”

 

Fuck.

 

“Look, Scar-“

 

“The fuck you looking at?” Someone yelled the common threat.

 

“Some asshole who spilled my beer,” another shot back.

 

“Well, duty calls,” Hancock said and sighed, turning to deal with the two drunk idiots who were ruining his date. Sure, as mayor he didn’t have to get involved, but part of him wanted to show Scarlett him doing something good, even if good was just breaking up a fight.

 

“Hey, hey,” Hancock said, putting on his most charming voice. “What’s the problem?”

 

“He knocked over my beer,” one of the men said.

 

“He was looking at Katie over there, and Katie’s my girl!”

 

“She ain’t yours!”

 

Quickly the conversation turned back into incoherent yelling as the two men got closer.

 

Before Hancock could stop it, Scarlett had slid around him and placed herself between the two men. Fuck, she looked small between them. Still, her presence already had them settling.

 

“Let’s settle down. Here, buddy, got a new beer for you.” She handed one her bottle of beer, and fuck. . . the girl put his charm to shame. She flashed those white teeth of hers and set her hands on each of their hands. “Now, I was really looking forward to a nice evening. I’ve never been here, you know?”

 

“A virgin, are ya?” One of them set a hand on her hip, a smile on his face that was at least half alcohol. “Why don’t we show ya a good time?”

 

She laughed and slapped his hand away. “Thanks, but I have a date for tonight. I’d hate to see you two get thrown out, though, especially over something so silly.”

 

Hancock wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back out from between them, staking his own claim even as they looked far more interested in winning her over than fighting. “Sister is spoken for.”

 

“Hey, of the people, for the people, right mayor?”

 

“Maybe with someone else. You two good?”

 

They turned a hard glare on each other, but that broke into a smile. “Yeah, we’re good.”

 

“Good. Next round is on the house. Enjoy your night.” Hancock guided her away from the group and into the VIP room. He’d shared her quiet enough. “Well you are full of surprises, Scar.”

 

She laughed as she stole the bourbon off the table. “I’ve worked at the Dugout Inn for years. If there’s one thing I can handle, it’s drunks. Whenever Vadim gets involved it turns into a fight, so I usually deal with them.”

 

“Well, you handle ‘em like a pro. Hell of a charmer you are. I gotta keep my wits about me or you’ll be handling me next. If I’m not careful, you could get me naked and in bed before I knew what happened.”

 

What a pretty damned blush. She pulled her gaze away before taking a drink. Her lips pressed against the bottle, and Hancock couldn’t help but be jealous.

 

That kiss she’d given him when high? Barely a taste, and he wanted to feast.

 

He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, forcing her to meet his gaze again. “You look nice when you blush, you know that?”

 

“And you say I’m a charmer.”

 

“Hey, I finally have you here. After that first day, I never figured I'd get a chance. Course I’m gonna use every skill at my disposal, and trust me, I have a lot of ‘em.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Chem expert, asshole wrangler, bourbon taster.”

 

Her eyebrows pulled together. “Bourbon taster?”

 

Hancock couldn’t stop the grin before he leaned down and captured her lips. He slid his hand behind her neck, thumb against her jaw to tilt her head.

 

She responded, all hesitancy at first, lips moving against his. Her hands set on his chest, flat, like she was thinking about pushing him away. Instead, those fingers curled into his shirt to hold him close.

 

He wanted to keep going, but he broke the kiss instead. Slow. Ease her into it. “Well, gotta say, that’s the best bourbon I’ve had in a while.”

 

She laughed, then pushed at his chest. “You are trouble, Hancock.”

 

The name shook him. Right. Hancock. He should tell her. She needed to know. Then his balls started to ache when he remembered the last time she’d nailed him there and the idea of ruining their night was really hard to accept. What if he let her get to know him a little better, first? Maybe she’d realize he wasn’t so bad, and when she realized they’d known each other before, she wouldn’t be quite so pissed?

 

Stupid plan, but hell, he just couldn’t let this go, not yet.

 

Scarlett smiled and held up the bottle. “You want to help me get through some of this? I mean, a good bourbon tested would be thorough.”

 

Yeah, he’d tell her tomorrow.

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

Scarlett squinted as she stared into the bottle and wondered where exactly all the bourbon had gone. Sure, she’d drank some, but she didn’t think she’d drank that much.

 

Hancock hadn’t helped much, instead focusing on his own whiskey.

 

“You need more, sunshine? I really think you’re at your limit, but I’m not one to tell a lady no.”

 

She tilted the bottle up, trying to use the light to see into it. Until a drop spilled from the bottle and went into her eyes. She dropped the empty bottle, and it shattered against the floor as she rubbed at her eyes.

 

“Hey now, careful.” Hancock picked her up, hoisting her over his shoulder before she tripped and fell into the glass shards. “Pretty sure you’re at your limit.”

 

She giggled against his back, the touch of his hands on her thighs too warm to ignore.

 

He stumbled, using a hand on the wall to steady himself. “Well fuck, think I mighta passed my limit, too.”

 

“Don’t you dare drop me.”

 

His words slurred as he pushed himself away from the wall and stumbled out of the VIP room. “Ah, Scar, I ain’t never dropped you before, don’t plan on starting now.”

 

She frowned for a moment at the words but forgot them as they wavered up the stairs, unsteady. At one point, he stumbled backward, down a step, before catching himself. A few people offered to help, but he waved them off, saying he could get his own mate back to her bed all by himself.

 

Despite the disaster of a trip, they made it back to the statehouse and up the stairs to the top floor without injury.

 

He lowered her onto her feet. “I believe this is your stop, m’lady.” He tilted his hat and winked.

 

Scarlett grabbed the front of his shirt and tripped backward, pulling him down into the bed with her.

 

“So, you’re handsy when drunk, too?” He laughed as he laid on his side beside her, staring at her like he’d never seen anything better.

 

“Maybe it isn’t the chems or the alcohol, maybe it’s just you, Hancock.” Stupid flirt. What was she doing? She had some charm when it came to drunks, but this was different. This was real.

 

His smile faltered for a moment. “Call me John, would you?”

 

She leaned in and stole a kiss quick. “Maybe it’s just you, John, because I haven’t done anything like this before. Never gotten drunk and into bed with a man I don’t know.”

 

“Never?”

 

She shook her head and scooted in, adjusting around the sling so she didn’t place weight on it. “No. Hell, with Vadim watching over me? There wasn’t a chance. He only approved of one man, Travis-“

 

“Travis Miles? The guy on the radio?”

 

“Yeah. He liked me, but it wouldn’t work. I think Vadim only liked him because he was safe. I wanted my mate, not a fling.”

 

“Well, I ain’t complaining. Ended up with you here.” He drug his fingers through her hair. “Daisy doesn’t play fair. Bitch knows I love curls.”

 

Scarlett tried to unbutton his shirt, but between doing it with one hand and the alcohol, she couldn’t get it.

 

“What’cha up to there, sister?” One of the ridges of John’s eyebrow’s lifted.

 

“I want to see more of you.”

 

“Nothing beneath these clothes you want to see. Just more of the same, I’m afraid.”

 

“Please?”

 

He released a soft laugh. “Yeah, your pleases are fucking killer, you know that? Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He rolled to his back so he could use both hands on his shirt, unbutton it but leaving it and the coat on. It gave her a strip of flesh down his middle to stare at, framed by the clothing still on.

 

Scarlett sat up and leaned over him, tracing the deep grooves of his chest with her gaze, then with her fingers.

 

“Told ya. I used to be a looker, if you can imagine it. Ran around in my youth, all charm and pretty boy looks. Fuck, if only you’d been my mate then, huh?”

 

“I like you like this.”

 

He leaned up and pulled her into a deep kiss, tongue sliding past her lips, tasting of the whiskey and grapes. His lips worked against hers until she moaned, a sound he stole from her. He pulled back as if that sound was what he’d been after, a grin across his lips. “I like you however I can get you. Now lay down, will you? You’re too drunk to fuck tonight anyway.”

 

Heat crept into her face, especially since she couldn’t argue with him. If she argued she wasn’t that drunk, it would mean she’d wanted to have sex with him. If she claimed she didn’t want to have sex with him, well, with their bond he’d know that was a lie.

 

Another soft laugh and he pulled her closer to him, then kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry, I’ll be the same easy, charming asshole tomorrow.”

 

Sleep came easy, and by the time the sun rose, Scarlett’s headache was in full swing. She crawled out of the bed and dressed, Hancock barely rousing at all. Then again, she’d started to realize he probably drank way more than he’d admitted.

 

She smiled while she stared at him, scarred chest on display. He was thin, thinner than she’d realized before. His pants hung low on his hips, showing his hipbones, the way his stomach dipped in.

 

She wanted to wake him up by trailing her tongue up that stomach, dipping into his navel, tracing each dip of his ribs.

 

Wait, what? Those thoughts were way further than she was prepared to consider.

 

She shook her head and turned. He’d have med-x in his office, and she could use it after her night of over indulgence. She’d left the sling on her dresser, because her shoulder seemed to work fine, and she was tired of feeling hobbled by the thing.

 

Inside his office, Scarlett worked at opening drawers. Lots of empty chem containers.

 

Finally, she located a case with a syringe of med-x. She injected a small dose, just enough to keep her head from pounding.

 

Something at the bottom of that drawer caught her attention. A poorly made friendship bracelet, frayed and faded by time and touch, like someone held the damn thing and looked at it often.

 

She picked it up, hands shaking, because she knew exactly what it meant.

 

 

#

 

John woke when someone kicked his bed. What was it with people waking him up like that. “Unless you’re naked, go away.”

 

“If I woke you up naked, we’d both have to kill ourselves.”

 

“Ah, Fahrenheit, I do love you.” He opened his eyes and sat up, glancing around. “Where’s Scarlett?”

 

“That’s what I’m here about. The fuck did you do to her?”

 

John frowned, reaching across the link to find. . . a whole fucking lot of anger. “Nothing. What happened?”

 

“Picked her up almost half way to Diamond City. Took a lot of fucking muscle to haul her back.”

 

He was off the bed in a moment. “She ran? Alone? Is she okay? The fuck was she thinking?”

 

“That’s why I asked what you did to her, because women don’t run like that unless you fuck up pretty bad. I love you, John, but you hurt her? I’ll skin ya for it.”

 

“Yeah, I know, and that’s why I keep you around. No, I didn’t hurt her. Didn’t touch her. Where is she?”

 

“Warehouse behind Daisy’s. Didn’t want to cause any problems so we got her in there with a couple neighborhood guards until you deal with it.”

 

John buttoned his shirt, then took the stairs in a rush. The only reason she could be angry was if she figured out who he really was.

 

But how could she have? Almost no one knew, and the few who knew, wouldn’t tell her.

 

He nodded at the guards as he passed them, then waved them out of the room to leave Scarlett and him alone.

 

“You okay, sunshine? No one hurt you, right?”

 

She didn’t look at him, her back to him, staring out cracks in a boarded-up window.

 

Hancock crossed the room, placing a hand on her shoulder. “What’s wrong, Scarlett?”

 

She twisted, bringing her knee up into his groin in a move he remembered well from their childhood. He doubled over, closing his eyes as he struggled to talk his lungs into doing their fucking job.

 

“I don’t like being played, John.” She dropped something on the ground between them.

 

The bracelet she’d given him, the one he’d refused to lose no matter what happened, the one he’d hold some nights when he wanted to pretend things had turned out different, that life had gone a different way.

 

It meant Scarlett knew exactly who he was, and the whole knee to balls action? Guess that told him what she thought about it.

 

Fucking perfect.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

John braced his hands on his knees, still hunched forward. He hurt up into his stomach, and he tried to get his chest to draw air in. “Now I’m regretting that time I taught you self-defense, sunshine. Taught it to you for creeps, not to use on me.”

 

She moved away, placing distance between them. “Well you’re the one who has been lying to me, so I think maybe you count in that creep group.”

 

He took a deep breath before rising, groaning at the throbbing still happening in his groin. “I’m sorry, Scarlett.”

 

“Don’t you dare say sorry to me. You should have told me who you were the moment I saw you.”

 

“Right, when you were all but running away at the sight of me? Because that was a really fucking good time to be laying out dirty laundry, wasn’t it? You gonna try and tell me you wouldn’t have still run?”

 

She swallowed hard, but at least she didn’t lie. “I don’t know.”

 

“Well I do. Wouldn’t have mattered if I told you right then. You weren’t exactly up for listening to anything I had to say.”

 

Scarlett came closer and shoved John’s shoulder. “And what about afterwards? You’ve had days to tell me the truth, a hundred different chances to come clean. What was your plan? To just never tell me? That we'd go on in life and I'd never know about you? Is this all a game to you?”

 

John wrapped an arm behind her and pulled her against him. “It’s not a game. I just wanted you to get to know me, to get to know the man I am now. I wanted to show you I wasn’t that bad, to maybe get you to feel something for me. Not because you had to but because you liked me.”

 

She pushed at his chest until he let her go.

 

Fuck. This wasn’t going well, not that he’d expected it to. Scarlett was sweet, but she could hold a grudge, and maybe he deserved some ire, but fuck. . . this was why he hadn’t wanted to tell her.

 

He rubbed his eyes. “What do you want me to say? I fucking love you, okay? I have since we were kids. But I had finally let it sink in I was never gonna get you, about the time I woke up looking like this. I mean, who wants to hook up with a freak, right? So I move on, let you go, and then I find out I got you as a mate. But, fuck me right, because there ain’t a chance you’d want me like this.” He shook his head at the bitterness that swirled inside him, the bitterness that smothered every single word. “But I told you before, I wasn’t gonna hurt you, and I wasn’t gonna force you. I’ll have Clair set you up a room in the Rexford. Want or need me? You know where I am, or ask one of the guards and they’ll get me.”

 

He walked to the door, hands drawn into fists. “But we’ve been through this before, haven’t we? You don’t want a fucking thing from me. Never did.”

 

#

 

Scarlett stood in the room, heart having crawled into her throat at some point.

 

He loved her? Yeah, she hadn’t missed that tidbit. It reminded her of all the times they’d spent together when younger. He’d throw an arm around her, pull her against his side, and talk her into some crazy scheme. He’d kissed her once, their only foray into that irradiated pond. His lips had been so soft against hers, hand behind her neck, a soft groan like he’d been waiting forever for the chance.

 

And she’d rewarded him by kneeing him in the groin. So that wasn’t the most appropriate reaction, but it had scared her. She’d known she was waiting for a mate, and no one had tempted her. In the years before, the years since, no other man had ever made her want anything, made her sigh and wish they could be her mate, made her angry they weren’t.

 

When John had kissed her though? Yeah, she’d wanted more, and that had terrified her.

 

He’d never mentioned it again, walking in the next time with that damned smile in place like nothing had happened. He never crossed that line again, either.

 

Not that they’d had much time after that. It wasn’t long before he’d left.

 

And she’d spent years wishing he’d just come back.

 

When he finally did come back, when fate somehow pushed them back together, she threw it away. Threw him away?

 

Brilliant choice.

 

Scarlett sighed and left the room, the guards not stopping her this time. On the street, MacCready walked out of the statehouse, face drawn tight until he spotted her.

 

A smile, once against too wide, slid over his lips. “Hey, Mrs. Boss.”

 

Him being back could only mean one thing. “Did you find him?”

 

“Yeah. I was supposed to bring him back, but, well, even my temper slips.”

 

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

 

“Hancock hired me to drag him back, but he decided to mouth off. A bullet shut him up, but it means Hancock doesn't get the pleasure of finishing him off. Took half my fee because of it.”

 

“Why did he do it?” Scarlett walked up to the merc, wanting something, some sort of closure, some sense that the world made sense. “Why me?”

 

MacCready stuck his thin hands into the pockets of his duster. “Wish I had some sort of great understanding for you. He was a creep. He thought he was righting some wrong in the world. Can’t say much else to you other than, he won’t do it again, not to you and not to anyone else. You learn eventually that sometimes life doesn’t make a lot of sense. Good people get screwed and bad people get ahead. Everyone once in a while, though? Well, every once in a while life gets it right.” His gaze darted up at the Statehouse behind him, then back to her. “Yeah, sometimes it gets it right. Night, Mrs. Boss.”

 

Scarlett went to the room Clair had readied for her. She’d passed another room before it, door open, and the difference was hard to ignore.

 

The normal room had a stained mattress in it, a thin blanket with holes over the bed. The room she’d been placed in? A new bed and nice bedding, even a vase with some hubflowers on the nightstand.

 

It all screamed John. Even with how angry she’d been, he’d still taken care of her, still watched out for her. He’d given her her own space but made sure it was comfortable.

 

And she’d only continued to kick him.

 

#

 

It was midnight before John got to sleep. He’d paced all day, thinking about Scarlett. About the stupid shit that came out of his mouth. Didn’t matter if it was true, he should have never said it, should have never thrown it down like a fucking gauntlet.

 

What did he expect? That she’d turn around and decide she loved him too?

 

She didn’t love him when they were kids, she wasn’t gonna love him now.

 

And he really fucking deserved her hating him.

 

He spread out in her bed. Creepy? Yeah, really fucking creepy, but it still smelled like her. He wrapped his arms around the pillow and pretended, for a minute, that it was her.

 

Sleep took him eventually, lulling him away from his worries and his regrets and everything else that filled his life.

 

He dreamed about the old days, the ones when they’d run around Diamond City together, the days he never thought would end.

 

Weight settled on top of him, and he frowned. Sure, he’d had his share of dreams about Scarlett of this nature. Hard not to. He’d picture kissing down her body, the way she’d moan his name and wrap her hands around his head to keep him close. But those started slower. Hancock was a lover, after all. He was a man who enjoyed the chase, the foreplay.

 

Lips pressed against his jaw, and even through the ruined skin, it heated him. There we go, that was the sort of foreplay he liked.

 

The weight settled against him harder, and his eyes opened, finally willing to admit this might not be a dream.

 

“You sure know how to wake a man up,” Hancock said, voice rough from sleep. “Course, you already bruised my goods, so I hope you’re not expecting more.”

 

Scarlett sat up, weight on his groin in a way that was impossible to ignore. No matter the rough treatment she’d given him earlier, his dick had decided it wanted a part of this conversation.

 

“Are you going to tell me to leave?”

 

“I’m an asshole, but I ain’t stupid. Not about to ask you to leave when you’re on top of me. Does make me wonder just what you’re doing here, though.”

 

“You said you loved me.”

 

“You caught that, huh? Didn’t mean to spring it on you like that.” His hands went to rest on her thighs, unable to not touch her. It was then he realized she’d stripped down to nothing. He kept his eyes on her face, though. “You notice that you’re missing your clothes, sunshine?”

 

“Yeah, I took them off.”

 

“And here I thought you were mad at me.”

 

“I am.”

 

He cocked his head to the side. “Then what’s this all about?”

 

“Just because I’m still mad doesn’t mean I don’t need you.”

 

“You didn’t need to strip down to get some contact. Let’s not bullshit, Scar.” He couldn’t help it when his fingers gripped her thighs, digging in and pulling her slightly harder against him.

 

“You don’t want to bullshit? Well that’s new.” She set her hands on the mattress on either side of his head, then leaned in and brushed her lips against his. “If you aren’t turning me down, then let’s get this over with.”

 

The words had him frowning. “Over with?”

 

“I waited years for a mate. I turned down so many people, waiting for you. I’m tired of waiting, John.”

 

He groaned as her lips drifted down to his throat, dragging her teeth over his pulse, hard enough he shuddered, feeling it. Still, her words sunk in. “I’m not gonna fuck you just to get it over with.”

 

“Why not? You can’t tell me you waited.”

 

No, that was for fucking sure. He’d fucked his way through every willing person between Diamond City and Goodneighbor, and anything passing through. “Nah, I didn’t.”

 

She flinched at that. “That’s what I thought. You can’t tell me you don’t want this.” She rolled her hips against him. “I can feel that’s a lie.”

 

“You’re naked and straddling me. Of course I’m hard. But you waited a long damned time, and I’m not gonna take you just because you’re angry and looking for a way to work out some aggression.”

 

“Why not? Are you forgetting how well I know you? Because you’ve never been someone afraid to work out a little aggression.” She rocked her hips again, her heat soaking through his underwear, the only thing he was wearing.

 

Enough. Hancock flipped her over, smiling at the way she gasped when he settled between her thighs above her. “Yeah, I have. But you aren’t just anyone. You’re my mate, and you matter to me. You keep telling me how you’ve waited, and reading between the lines, I’m taking it you’re a virgin, right?”

 

Her gaze darted away, but she didn’t answer.

 

“Yeah, that’s what I figured. So there you go, I ain’t fucking you for your first time like this. Already done enough to piss you off, I’m not risking that. I think we’ve already see what happens when I piss you off.” He slid one thigh forward so it pressed against her cunt. Fuck, she was wet. “When I finally get you, we’re gonna do it right. Ain’t done nothing else right, but I’ll get that right.”

 

She moaned, then shut her mouth like she tried to hide the sound from him.

 

“Nah, don’t keep that pretty sound from me. Come on, maybe as an apology for play kickball with my junk?” He leaned down and nipped at her collarbone.

 

“I thought you said you weren’t going to fuck me.”

 

“Such a filthy word from that pretty mouth? I like it. And you’re right, I’m not gonna fuck you. Still, I figured we might have some fun. You gonna let me do that?” He held his breath as he waited, his thigh pressed against her cunt, lips over her chest. He was ready to beg her to say yes.

 

“Yes,” she said as she slid her hands over his shoulders and hooked them behind his neck.

 

He smiled and slid his tongue over her nipple, his eyes locked on hers, wanting to make sure she could see exactly what he wanted and what he was offering. “Why don’t you try and hang on then, because I’m gonna show you what this little body of yours can do.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

Scarlett was way in over her head. That was pretty damned obvious from the smirk across John’s lips, the way he stared at her like he’d finally caught her and knew exactly what he planned to do to her.

 

Damn it. She’d come into that room expecting to seduce him, to be the one in control, to tease him and take what she wanted, what she knew damned well he could provide. One lick of that tongue, though, and she’d been lost.

 

She should have known better. No one seemed able to outsmart John. Not when they were kids and not now. He’d only grown more dangerous, more confident, more everything.

 

The boy who’d kissed her so sweetly was gone, replaced by the man in front of her who made it hard to pull in breaths.

 

His black eyes wandered over her, like he was studying her. “Never thought I’d see you like this. Pictured it so many times, but never figured I’d really have you.”

 

“You pictured this?”

 

“Fuck yes. Even back when we were kids. I was a teenage boy, what do you expect? Spent way too many nights with my hand around my dick while I thought about you. Can’t blame me, can you? With us always running around, causing problems, and you so fucking oblivious to what it did to me?” He leaned back, so he sat between her thighs, his knees keeping his legs spread.

 

She squirmed at being on display, at him seeing so much of her. When it was dark, and she’d crawled on top of him, being naked hadn’t seemed so unsettling. Now? Now it had her fidgeting beneath his intense gaze. “You never said anything.”

 

His gaze returned to her face, and his lips tilted down at the corners, the smirk sliding away. “You didn’t want me. I wasn’t going to try and force you, and knew I didn’t deserve you anyway, so I didn’t let it show, because I’d rather have you as my friend than as nothing at all.”

 

Scarlett stilled as she stared at him, as shame dripped through their link. He’d held onto more than his share of scars over the years, and all that yearning? Yeah, she felt it.

 

She sat up, pulling him into a kiss, to try and say something she wasn’t even sure she understood. She was still angry, but she’d waited so long. And there was something safe about John. She knew him, and even if he lied, even if he was an asshole, he’d always taken care of her. She didn’t want to argue, to be stuck in this damned start to a mating. She wanted to be past it, to be at the happy point, the point where everything was going right.

 

If that meant skipping forward, she’d skip forward.

 

John moaned against her lips before pulling back. He pressed a hand to the center of her chest and pushed her back down on the bed. “Be a good girl and stay still, won’t ya?”

 

She lifted a foot and pressed it against the center of his chest. “Don’t get smart with me, John.”

 

He captured her foot, pressing a kiss to the inside of her ankle. “Me? Smart? Now that just ain’t my thing.” He pulled her foot forward to press his lips to her calf. The kisses continued, to her knee, before he inched backward and leaned forward to kiss her inner thigh.

 

His rough tongue danced along her thigh, fingers holding her leg. His breath drew goosebumps up on her skin when he pulled back, catching her gaze with a grin. “I wanna taste you, sunshine. I’m a taster of a lot of things, bourbon, chems, pretty girls.” He pressed a kiss to the crease of her hip, where her leg met her crotch. “I want to hear you moan, show you exactly what my tongue can do. Will you let me do that to you?”

 

“Isn’t that a little fast?”

 

He pressed a kiss to her mound, though his breath spilled over her slit and had her shuddering. “I don’t do slow, and you never did either. You waited a long time, Scar, let me show you something good. Do you trust me?”

 

The words mattered. She knew it in his voice, in the slight tremor of his fingers against her thighs. Nervousness filled their link. He needed her to trust him, to believe in him.

 

Scarlett let her thighs fall open. “I trust you, John. Always have.”

 

His breath escaped on a hard sigh, like he’d been holding it, like he’d been terrified of the answer. He nodded. “Good. Because you can trust me, Scarlett. You always could have. I’ll take care of you, I promise.” He meant so much more than just this, and she knew it.

 

John brushed his knuckles against her slit, and Scarlett snapped her thighs closed in surprise. With John there, she couldn’t close them entirely, instead smacking his shoulders.

 

He chuckled. “Relax.” He repeated the motion, and this time her legs jerked but she didn’t move further. “Better. You know that I’m sorry, right?”

 

“Now is not the best time to talk.”

 

He slid his thumb into his mouth, then pulled it out and pressed it against her clit. “Now is the perfect time to talk. You’re distracted and my junk is far enough away from you to be safe.”

 

Scarlett had to focus to understand his words as he rubbed her clit in slow, soft motions. “Well, don’t apologize. I’m not ready to forgive you.”

 

“You will be when I get my tongue on you.”

 

“I doubt your tongue is that good. I’m pretty pissed.”

 

He smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of her cleft. “Well, I’m still sorry. I’ll spend forever making it up to you, proving that you can trust me, that I just want to have you in my life. I don’t want to go back to being alone. I’ll start by making you come.” He removed his finger and slid his tongue up her slit, tracing it around her clit.

 

Scarlett gasped, pulling back, but John locked his hands around her thighs to keep her still. He pressed his lips against her, tongue dipping into her, playing with her clit. His fingers dug into her thighs as she squirmed, her hands reaching up to grasp his head. His soft chuckle spilled against her even as he didn’t slow.

 

His lips latched around her clit, and he released one of her thighs the press his thumb against her cunt. He dipped it in, a shallow thrust that had her lifting her hips. She wanted him to fill her. It was some instinct in her, maybe the bond? She wanted him to move up her body and slide into her. She wanted it so much, she thrust against that finger, her body pleading for more.

 

He slid that thumb in deeper, sucking harder on her clit. Scarlett’s fingers released his head and moved to her own breast, taking one nipple and toying with it. She rolled it, back arching up against her own touch.

 

Her gaze fell between her legs to see John’s black eyes locked on her, predatory and so damned familiar. Even though they looked nothing like they had before, she still saw the same boy in them he’d been.

 

It was that gaze that pushed her into her orgasm, her hand flying to the side, wrapping in the blanket as her back arched up sharply. Hancock slowed his finger but he didn’t remove it from her, drawing out the orgasm until she whimpered and shook.

 

He pulled his finger from her and licked it clean before moving up the bed to lie beside her.

 

#

 

Hancock couldn’t believe how damned good she looked. Tiny shivers ran through her as she adjusted after coming, her body still settling. Fuck, nothing looked better than that, than the total surrender from a woman when she was still coming down from an orgasm like that.

 

He ran his hand up her side, over her hip, enjoying the way even that little touch drew a whimper.

 

She reached out, cupping him through his underwear.

 

“Fuck. Thought you only got handsy when you drank.”

 

She ignored the comment as she slid her hand into his underwear, gripping his length. She stroked him in quick motions, taking her lip between her teeth. She seemed rushed, like she was nervous and running for a finish line.

 

He reached down to grasp her wrist. “Slower, Scar. We ain’t in a hurry.”

 

A blush covered her cheeks, her hand faltering. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” she admitted softly.

 

“What you’re doing, is having some fun, that’s it. Don’t worry so much.” He leaned in and kissed her, trying to ease her. Her hand started to move again, taking her time. This time, her fingers skimmed over his cock, taking in the ridges, the grooves from the burns.

 

He had pity on her and slid his underwear off so she could play with more room.

 

She shifted back, gaze moving down between them, focusing on the way her hand moved. The head of his cock disappeared into her palm, then her thumb brushed the head, sliding against the slit, capturing a drop of precome.

 

A deep groan filled the space at the touch.

 

He stayed still, though, letting her play. He wanted her to get used to him, to grow comfortable with him. They had years ahead of them, years to go fast, to go hard. For now? He just wanted her to touch him, to familiarize herself with his boy. 

 

She studied his reaction as she moved, repeating motions when he’d react with a jerk of his hips or a inhale.

 

“I’m about there, sunshine,” he warned her. No better way to piss a woman off than come on her when she isn’t expected it. Guess that made him a gentleman.

 

“Good,” she said, voice distant like she wasn’t really listening, hand speeding in time with the tiny jerks of his hips.

 

“Fucking hell,” he muttered as he came in her hand, shuddering against the sensation.

 

It made a fucking joke of anything before. The link, the touch of his mates hand, it made everything more, made it reach deeper into him.

 

Scarlett reached her hand up, spots of come on it. She pulled it towards her lips.

 

John captured her hand, shaking his head. “Can’t do that.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I’m a ghoul, Scar. Means my come has a pretty damned high level of radiation.”

 

“How can we have sex then? How would I be able to. . .” Her gaze drifted down to his softening cock, her tongue tracing her lips.

 

He groaned but leaned over, grabbing a towel. “We’ll start you on rad-x next time, have some rad-away on hand just in case.” He used the towel to wipe her hand, then clean himself off, too.

 

“Seems like a lot of work.”

 

He laughed, pulling her against his chest. “To feel your lips on my cock? Hell, I’d do any amount of work for that.” He pulled the blanket up and over them to keep the chill away, but made no effort to dress either of ‘em. The feeling of her against him, skin on skin, was too fucking amazing. “Was that okay?” He wanted to sound sure, but he knew his voice came out needy. “I know you waited, and I feel like I should have given you something a lot fucking better than that.”

 

Her arms wrapped around him, her head settling on his chest. “It was great. I can’t imagine anything better.”

 

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before closing his eyes. “Good. Means my junk is safe for tonight at least.”

 

Her laugh spilled across his chest. “Just for tonight.”

 

Fuck. He loved her, knees to the balls and all.

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

Scarlett couldn’t meet John’s gaze as they ate breakfast. Every time she did, she imagined seeing those dark eyes from between her thighs. Then he’d dart that tongue out to take food from his finger tips and Scarlett would forget how her lungs worked.

 

His lips tilted up into a smile when he caught her gaze.

 

“You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?” She lowered her voice so the neighborhood watch wouldn’t hear. No one needed to hear this conversation. The idea of anyone knowing about her and John, it still unnerved her. She’d been a private person for so long, she didn’t need anyone making guesses. Sure, they were mates, so the guesses were easy, but it still made her uneasy.

 

“Course I am. You think I can’t feel you through our link? Gonna use every advantage I have, and if that advantage is that you can’t stop thinking about last night? Oh, Scar, I’m gonna use the fuck out of that.”

 

She jerked her gaze away, focusing on her food instead. Not that it helped, since she just imagined him after that. What the hell was wrong with her?  She’d gone years without sex, without wanting like this. Sure, she’d thought about it, but one night with John and she was reduced to a horny teenager?

 

He snapped his fingers, calling her attention back up to him. “None of that shit, sunshine. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it. Don’t need to be embarrassed or ashamed. Nothing wrong with wanting me, it’s what you’re supposed to do, what mates are supposed to want, and trust me, you ain’t alone in that.” He stared at her, then laughed, shaking his head. “Yeah, course I want you. Trust me, some of what you’re feeling ain’t just you, it’s what I want through the link. But, we gotta have a life, too, right? Not that I’d mind just never leaving that bedroom, but I figure you’ll get pale and grumpy if we try that.”

 

“So what are we supposed to do? MacCready said he dealt with the man who attacked me.”

 

“Yeah. Ain’t happy that he offed him on his own. I was really looking forward to killing him myself. Man is usually pretty level headed, but according to him, that asshole was a real fucking bastard. Can’t blame him, I guess.”

 

“You’re sure he really killed him? That he didn’t just lie to get his caps?”

 

John shook his head. “I didn’t tell him the details of the attack, but MacCready repeated them back to me when he returned. He had to get the story from the man who attacked you. Besides, I trust the kid. The guy was just a caravan guard who spent time in Diamond City, working with Myrna. Probably fed into Myrna’s paranoia. He was a nobody, and now he is nobody. You okay?”

 

“Yeah. I guess, I just expected some sort of closure. That I’d find out he was gone and I’d feel better, but it feels so anticlimactic. I wanted it to change things, to make me feel safe, I guess. Like it’s be some magical explanation and everything would make sense again. MacCready said the same thing, though, that sometimes life just sucks.”

 

 “Yeah, sometimes it does suck. Sometimes though?” John reached across the table and captured her hand. “Sometimes it doesn’t.”

 

#

 

John stood beside Ham, leaning against the wall while they watched over the Third Rail from the foot of the stairs.

 

“She’s good,” Ham said.

 

“Worked Dugout Inn for years. Pretty much grew up in that place. No one knows bars better than she does.”

 

“Even Charlie likes her, and he hates everyone. Didn’t figure you’d be putting your mate to work, though.”

 

John took a drag on his cigarette, blowing the smoke out slowly before responding. “She needs something in her life, something to do besides me. Can’t give her kids, can’t give her a family.”

 

“So, you gave her a job?”

 

“Hey, it’s something. Besides, she’s good at it. She already got shit streamlined, in one night of working here. Saw her handle the drunks the other night, and we both know that had you or I gotten involved, shit would have turned ugly and fast. I got shit to do around town, and I can’t expect her to sit at home and wait till I’m done. Now she’s got something to do.”

 

Ham frowned, gaze moving back toward the VIP room. “Problem, Boss.”

 

John pressed his lips together but held his hand up to keep Ham in place. He’d rather Ham keep an eye on Scarlett, because John could deal with the assholes going to screw with MacCready himself.

 

In the VIP room, Winlock and Barnes stood, posturing, with MacCready seated in the chair like he couldn’t care less about them.

 

“Only reason we haven’t put a bullet through your head is because we don’t a war with Goodneighbor.” Winlock said.

 

John let out a low chuckle, the one that was as much a warning as most assholes deserved. “Probably a good plan. Goodneighbor ain’t the sort of town you want to war with.”

 

Winlock faced John, face hard. “He’s still taking jobs and that isn’t going to work for us.”

 

“Don’t care. This here? This is my town. This is my territory, not gunner territory. You don’t come into my town and threaten my people.”

 

Barnes’s voice came out, all stupidity and aggression. Well, it was easy to see who was the level headed one. “MacCready ain’t one of your people. He’s just a merc, a fucking two-bit-“

 

Hancock lifted his hand, pointing a finger at Winlock. “Watch it, now. MacCready is a friend of mine, and I’m getting sick of your mouth.”

 

“We don’t have to stand here and listen to this bullshit, do we?” Barnes looked at Winlock, like seeking permission to do something really stupid.

 

Something Hancock was almost begging him to do. He was really itching for a good fight.

 

“Shut up, Barnes. You never did understand the game. Look, MacCready, we’re here to help you. Just quit taking jobs and we’re good. If not? Well, this won’t be the last time you see us.”

 

“Let me be clear, brother. I won’t be seeing you again. You stay the fuck out of my town.” Hancock didn’t move from the doorway, fine with them having to slide past him.

 

Winlock nodded, because the man had some brains. Barnes though? Barnes was all smoke.

 

“Fuck you, Hancock. I’ll come back as often as I want.”

 

“The fuck you will. I’m king of this little corner of the Commonwealth, and I ain’t got a problem putting down assholes like you who think they’re bigger and tougher than they are.”

 

Winlock shoved Barnes. “Let’s go, idiot, before you get yourself shot.” He nodded at Hancock as they passed. “Take care, Mayor.”

 

They walk out of the room, and Hancock looked back over at MacCready. “They’re gonna need to be dealt with.”

 

“Don’t I know it? But it isn’t your problem. I’ll handle it.”

 

“Yeah, well, don’t forget you got friends, asshole.”

 

MacCready sighed, and he suddenly appeared older than his young age. Poor kid had been through too much in his short life, like most of the Commonwealth. “Yeah. Thanks, Hancock.”

 

John nodded at the kid before walking back out into the main area of the Third Rail.

 

Only to find Scarlett in the arms of another man, hugging him like she’d never been happier to see anyone.

 

Not just another man, but one John knew, one he fucking hated.

 

His brother, Mayor Patrick McDonough, had his arms wrapped around Scarlett in a tight hug.

 

And there went John’s temper.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story, Mayor McDonough is a human. He was never replaced with a synth. :)

 

Having Patrick there, with Vadim and Yefim behind him, made Scarlett finally feel like she wasn’t alone, she wasn’t trapped.

 

Not that John had made her feel that way, not exactly. She’d simply lived one life for her entire life, and had suddenly had it all ripped away. New town, new mate, new life, with no real connection to her old life.

 

Then Patrick walked in, Vadim and Yefim walked in, and Scarlett had a line to her old life. She felt like herself again.

 

Patrick had wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, whispering into her ear that he’d missed her. Scarlett hugged him back, relaxing into the familiarity of the touch.

 

Not that she’d ever been that close to Patrick, but he still was a part of her family, and she’d missed them all dreadfully. She’d never gone this long without seeing them.

 

She pulled out of the embrace, and before she had a chance to say anything, Patrick was gone.

 

And John was on top of him.

 

Brothers never change, do they?

 

The two traded blows, but Patrick had no chance. Patrick had always been the diplomat, the trader, the thinker. John might have been younger and smaller, but he’d always bested Patrick.

 

Scarlett went forward to pull them off each other, but Vadim hooked a massive arm around her waist and pulled her back.

 

“No, Scarlett. When men fight, you stay back.”

 

“Oh shut up, Vadim. You better let me go. That’s my mate.”

 

“Mate? That ghoul?”

 

She brought her elbow backward, into his side. “Yes, and I’m not about to let them tear each other apart.”

 

Vadim sighed like the hit hadn’t mattered. He set her down, but pushed her easily back to Yefim before reaching out and separating Patrick and John like they weighed nothing at all. He held both by the collars of their coats.

 

“You keep your hands off her, asshole!” John pulled back his ruined lips to bare his teeth.

 

“She doesn’t belong in this place. She has a home with people who care about her. A home that’s safe.”

 

“A home where she got the shit beat out of her! How safe is that?”

 

Patrick pulled his shoulders back, shoving Vadim’s hand off him. “I didn’t know about that until it had already happened. I cooperated with that merc who came looking into it. The only reason she was targeted was because of you anyway.”

 

Scarlett pulled out of Yefim’s grip, since he’d never hold her tightly anyway, and moved between them. “Knock this off. None of this is either of your faults. John, you know Patrick didn’t have anything to do with this, and Patrick, John is my mate, and none of this is his fault either.”

 

Patrick’s face went hard. “Your mate?” His gaze passed her to lock back on John. “You had better not have touched her.”

 

“Oh, I touched her plenty, trust me.” John put his arms out, all arrogance.

 

Nothing ever changed, did it?

 

Scarlett turned and shoved John’s shoulders. “Excuse me?”

 

“Yell at him, why don’t’cha? This is my town, and you’re my mate, Scar, and I don’t like him with his hands all over you.”

 

“Well get over it. They’re my family.”

 

John tore his gaze away, releasing a string of curses. He looked at Ham, who seemed ready to take apart the whole group. “Keep an eye on these assholes, will ya? Scar wants a family reunion or some bullshit. I’ll send Fahr down for her bodyguard. Don’t take your eyes off ‘em, though. Don’t trust any of ‘em.”

 

“Where are you going?” Scarlett tried to grab his arm.

 

He pulled out of her grasp. “Away.” He leaned in so only she’d hear him. “We both know I wouldn’t be fucking welcome in their city, but let me lay out the red carpet for ‘em, huh? Fine, but I won’t put up with any of ‘em. Even if they knew who I was, they’d still fucking hate me. Always did. Have fun, though.”

 

He walked out, Scarlett following him with her gaze. He wasn’t wrong.

 

He’d never be allowed into Diamond City, never be allowed into this group of people. Was it fair to ask him to put up with them here?

 

A hand was set on her arm, and she flinched away from it.

 

“Oh. Sorry, Yefim.”

 

The quiet brother nodded, then pulled her into a hug. “I missed you. The bar is quiet without you.”

 

She smiled up at him. “I doubt that, not with Vadim there.”

 

“He is quiet without you.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead before releasing her.

 

“Well now, what have you all done to upset our fine mayor?” Magnolia stood there, heels and her red dress, but with a glare that said they were all in trouble.

 

“That was Mayor Hancock?” Patrick brushed his hands over his pants, though it didn’t help. He had a split lip and likely a black eye.

 

It was then Scarlett realized, none of them knew who Hancock was either. To them, he was just the ghoul mayor.

 

“Yes, it was, and he may not be level headed at the best of times, but he doesn’t hit people unless they deserve it.” Magnolia crossed her arms, the action making her cleavage even more obvious, but she did it without seeming to notice.

 

“That one there was hugging on his mate,” Ham explained. “Can’t say I blame him.”

 

Magnolia’s eyes softened as they fell on Ham. “That explains it. I’ve seen what you do when people get handsy.”

 

The soft smile on Ham’s face was response enough, but he still spoke. “Mates are off limits. Pretty basic rule. Don’t worry, Mags, I’ll take care of this.”

 

She pointed at Ham. “You had better. And you three? You had better be careful. This isn’t Diamond City, and here, we take care of our own since no one else will.” With that, she retreated back to the stage.

 

Well, that could have gone better.

 

#

 

John kicked the small table between the couches, sending it to its side and into the wall.

 

“Oh, that’ll show it.” Fahr’s unimpressed voice had him ready to start a fight. Sure, she’d probably kick his ass, but he almost figured it’d be worth it. “So, that asshole is your brother?”

 

“He doesn’t know it, but yeah. He’s been after Scarlett since we were kids. I know I shouldn’t have lost it, I just saw him touching her, and I saw red. Wanted to go feral and rip his fucking throat out. He’s a slimy bastard and I don’t trust him within a mile of her. You should have seen him the day he had the ghouls run out of Diamond City. It didn’t matter to him that he’d basically killed most of them, women and fucking children.”

 

“We could deal with him, you know. He never has to leave this city. No one would bat an eyelash if he never made it back.”

 

Yeah, sometimes Fahr scared the shit out of even John. She had a vicious streak, a willingness to give up anything to crawl up the ladder. Her loyalty was fierce, however, and since John had taken care of Vic, she’d pledged hers to him. After that, she'd grown. He'd heard the armor was made when you heated that shit up, and Fahr was proof of that. Woman had gone through hell with Vic, she'd come out the other side as a scary mother fucker. 

 

“No. We ain’t killing him. Ain’t no sport in it if they don’t see you coming.”

 

“You worry too much about sport, John.”

 

“He’s my brother. I hate him, but he’s still my brother. I just need you to keep an eye on Scarlett. Set ‘em all up on the top floor.”

 

“Why? Let them pay for rooms at the Rexford.”

 

“I like keeping people I don’t trust really fucking close. Let’s me put a blade between their ribs when I need to.”

 

“There’s the man I know,” Fahr said, grinning. “Fine. I’ll babysit. You just gonna get high up here like a coward?”

 

“Pretty fucking much.”

 

Hancock returned the middle finger Fahr gave him as she walked out while he fished for his chems.

 

 

#

 

Scarlett sat beside Vadim, Yefim and Patrick having gone to check out the rooms John had given them. The fact John would do that made Scarlett frown.

 

It seemed awful nice for a man who’d just attacked them.

 

Then again, John wasn’t stupid. He planned a lot more than he let on.

 

“We could kill him.”

 

Scarlett’s back straightened, waiting for Vadim to laugh off the joke, like he did whenever he mentioned killing Travis.

 

No laugh came.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“We could kill him. It would not take much, and you would not be trapped. He is not hurting you, is he?”

 

“No. No, of course he isn’t. It really isn’t like that, Vadim. I know he looks, well,  I mean, he is a ghoul. And he’s got a temper, but he’s not bad. I swear, I’d tell you if I was in danger. I’m not.”

 

He sighed, leaning forward. “Could I kill him anyway? The bar is not the same place without you. I was not ready for you to have a mate, especially one who can’t live in Diamond City. I fear I’m too old for change.”

 

Scarlett kissed his cheek. “You’ll adjust, old man. Everyone has to grow up eventually. Ready to go see the room?”

 

He shook his head. “You go. I’ll sulk here a little longer.”

 

#

 

Vadim dropped his head into his hands as Scarlett walked out. Damn, he’d miss that girl. He’d helped raise her, watched her grow from a child into a woman.

 

“You ever offer to kill Hancock again, I’ll slit your throat.”

 

The voice had him smiling. He’d grown so used to ignoring the pull, the link, that she’d managed to sneak up on him. He’d known she was here, but he hadn’t expected her to actually talk to him. She’d never shown any desire to see him. He’d heard she became Hancock’s personal bodyguard, and her words told him it was true.

 

He lifted his head. “Empty threat. We both know, you can’t kill your mate.”

 

“And we both know that if anyone could, it would be me.” She leaned her shoulder against the corner of the VIP room, feet crossed at the ankle.

 

She’d changed over the years they’d been apart, developed muscles and more than a few scars. Half her head was shaved, giving her a dangerous look that was reinforced by her blood-stained armor.

 

“Yes, we both do know that. You feeling brave? Didn’t expect you to talk to me.”

 

She shrugged. “You’re in my town, Vadim. Don’t forget that. Not much scares me here.”

 

“Then you have changed.”

 

She wasn’t the shaking, sobbing woman he remembered from their only meeting, when she’d pulled away from him, when he’d promised to leave her alone. This woman didn’t seem to be afraid of anything.

 

Still, Vadim stayed sitting. “You look good.”

 

“I look like shit. Try again.”

 

This time, he did stand. “You look good to me.”

 

She swallowed, the first sign of fear, like she was putting on one hell of a good show. He sought out the link, a strange sensation since he’d spent so many years ignoring it. Yeah, the start of fear, but nothing like it had been. This was almost the memory of fear.

 

She was tall, far taller than most women and many men. He’d liked that about her, that she didn’t look like someone he’d break if he touched her.

 

“Why are you here?” The words came out steady, not revealing any of her underlying unease.

 

“Scarlett. My brother Yefim and I helped to raise her. Had to come and make sure she was okay. Hancock, is he safe? Is he good for her?”

 

“She’s safe as could be here. Safer than she was in your city.”

 

“I heard. I should have been there. Should never have happened.” He walked up to her, placing a hand on the wall behind her. “Many things should never have happened.”

 

“Don’t touch my skin,” she whispered.

 

“I won’t. I just need something.” His hand went to her waist, on the outside of her shirt, careful to not even risk a brush of their skin. “It has been a long time. I need this to hold me over.”

 

“Why haven't you ever come for me? Not like you couldn't find me.”

 

“Because you asked me not to. You were not ready.”

 

“So? Since when does that fucking matter? Most men wouldn’t give up their mate.”

 

“I am not most men.” He dropped his forehead to her shoulder, his hand pressing to her chest, just wanting to feel the rise and fall of her chest, the filling of her lungs. It soothed that instinct inside him that was always screaming in his head, the one demanding he go to his mate, the one he’d tried to silence for so many years.

 

She trembled beneath his touch, so he took a deep breath, filling his lungs with her, before moving away. “We will be gone again, soon. Tomorrow, most likely. Do you sleep in the Statehouse?”

 

Her hand rubbed her chest, where he’d touched her, like she could still feel it. “Yeah, I do.”

 

“Then I will sleep elsewhere. It was good to see you, Farrah.”

 

“My name is Fahrenheit, now.”

 

He frowned, stopping by the door and looking over his shoulder. “Like, the temperature?”

 

“Hancock started to call me that after. . . well, you know. I needed a new name, and he said it was perfect because I ran hot and cold.”

 

Vadim laughed softly. “Yes. Yes, that is a fitting name. I am glad to have seen you, Fahrenheit.”

 

Her voice followed him, so soft he almost didn’t catch it. “Me too, Vadim.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

Scarlett sat on her bed, Patrick standing across the room from her. Vadim had gotten a room at the hotel, refusing to sleep in the Statehouse. Yefim was settled into his room, and Patrick had been given a room as well.

 

Then Patrick had knocked on her door, leaving them inside together.

 

“I heard the man who attacked you was killed.”

 

Scarlett nodded. “Yeah. MacCready killed him. Hancock sent him out to find him.”

 

“Good. I don’t like ghouls, but you know I’d never have allowed that, don’t you? I would never be okay with anyone harming you.” He crossed the room and sat beside Scarlett. “I care about you, Scarlett. I always have.”

 

“I know. You’ve always looked out for me.”

 

He put an arm around her, pulling her against his side. It made her uneasy. He’d never hidden that he was interested in her, but he also never pushed it. She'd tried to be kind, to not hurt his feelings, so she'd never come right out and told him no. “I want you to come back to Diamond City. You can move into my place. I’ll assign a guard to you, to make sure you’re safe.”

 

“I’m not moving into your place, Patrick.”

 

“Why not? You said yourself, I’ve always looked out for you. I’ll never let anything happen to you. You'll have whatever you want, always.”

 

She wanted to push off his arm but it felt wrong, like an over-reaction. Was this just because of her attack? Was she now being paranoid? “I can’t leave my mate. The bond has already been sealed.”

 

“We can figure it out. I’ll work out an arrangement. Perhaps you can meet him outside the gates, with a full guard. Or. . .” His fingers tightened on her arm. “Or, if he wasn’t alive, he wouldn’t be your mate anymore.”

 

“I don’t want him dead. I care about him.”

 

“You care about a ghoul? Have you forgotten your parents? If you're not careful, you could end up just like them. They trusted a ghoul and it got them killed.”

 

She flinched at the memory. “Trust me, that isn’t something I’ll forget.”

 

“Good, because I won’t ever forget having to tell you.” He twisted toward her, hands cupping her cheeks, fingers digging in. “I love you, Scarlett. I’ve always loved you. Ever since we were kids. You had eyes for my brother, but I still loved you. Tried to build a city you’d be happy with, tried to show you I could do something worthwhile. Give me a chance, that’s all I want, just a chance to make you happy.” He pulled her forward, pressing his lips against hers.

 

The kiss made her sick. Her stomach twisted, hating the taste of it, hating more when he slid his tongue into her mouth. She yanked backward, but his fingers dug into her cheeks to keep her there. He licked into her mouth, a soft groan from him making it worse.

 

She pressed her hands against his chest and shoved, hard. Finally, he broke the kiss, releasing her.

 

She stumbled off the bed, wiping her arm over her mouth. “What the hell are you doing?”

 

“You’ll feel it if you just give yourself a chance. I know you will. You’ll want me if you just try. You've never told me no. You know why? Because you really do want me, you just can't accept it.” He stood up and walked toward her.

 

Scarlett moved backward, but he was quicker, capturing her waist with one hand, the other brushing over her chest.

 

“Just relax. You’ll realize how happy you could be with me. Please? I’ve done everything for you.”

 

She wanted to cry, but she struggled to keep her emotions in check. She didn’t want John to feel this, to know. “Let me go, Patrick. Please, don’t do this.”

 

He leaned in again, lips kissing over her cheek, to her jaw. “Just think about it, okay? Think about the life I could give you. Much better than some filthy ghoul in a town like this. I'll give you everything, just let me try.” He kissed her pulse, then released her.

 

His face was the worst of it. Nothing but adoration. She’d known he’d cared about her, but she hadn’t realized how much. This was her fault, she should have stopped him sooner. She should have been clear when they were kids, or in any of the fucking years before right then. She’d led him on, led John on. It was all her fault. And if John found out? He’d kill Patrick, and he’d be angry with her, and it would all be her fault.

 

Her thoughts spiraled out of control as she blamed herself, the taste of Patrick still in her mouth, her cheeks aching from where he’d gripped her. They wouldn’t have made sense any other time, but right then? Right then there was only one thing she could think.

 

This was all her fault.

 

Scarlett stumbled out of the room, stomach rolling.

 

#

 

John glared at the door. Fuck them all.

 

Well, not Scarlett. He doubted it mattered what she did, he couldn’t be mad at her.

 

The link had gone tense ten minutes before. It made John antsy. She’d thinned it, and he figured she was pissed at him.

 

It made him want to go get some fucking flowers or something. Sure, he hated his brother, but he shouldn’t take it out on her. They were all the family she had.

 

And Vadim and Yefim weren’t even that bad. They just kept shitty company.

 

Scarlett walked into his office, closing the door behind her. She pressed her head against the door, and he caught her hands shaking.

 

It hadn’t been that long without contact. Why would she be in pain?

 

“You okay, Sunshine?”

 

She nodded, but didn’t turn.

 

John stood, walking up slowly. “What’s wrong? Come on, talk to me.” He set a hand on her back.

 

She twisted, and for a moment, he worried for his goods.

 

She didn’t knee him, though. She slid her arms into his jacket, tucking them behind his back and pulling herself against him, pressing her face to his chest.

 

He wrapped his arms back around her. “Hey there. Breathe. You need to breathe, sister, it’s sort of important.” His hands rubbed over her back, trying to force her to breathe by will alone.

 

What the fuck had happened? What caused this?

 

Who could he fucking kill to make it better?

 

He guided her over to the couch and tried to disentangle her from him. When it became clear she wasn’t letting go, he adjusted them down so she laid over his chest. “Gonna be a tough fucking conversation if you don’t come out of my coat.”

 

She shuddered, fingers digging into his side.

 

“I’m sorry I snapped at you. Is this because of what happened in the Third Rail? Look, sometimes I’m like a radstorm. I make a lot of noise, but it passes fast. I ain’t really mad at you. Come on, talk to me. This is killing me, Scar.”

 

She finally lifted her head, and. . . fuck. Her eyes were red, with tear tracks down her face. “Can I sleep in here? Please? I don’t want to go back to my room.”

 

He pressed his hand to her face, but she flinched away.

 

Was she scared of him? If she was scared, why was she begging to sleep in there with him? Didn’t make any fucking sense to him.

 

“Yeah. Course you can. Ain’t got much luxury, but anywhere I am, you’re always welcome. Can you talk to me first?”

 

She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. After a moment, she spoke, but she still wouldn’t look him in the eye. “Just thinking about life, and how fast it changes.”

 

“Fuck, you homesick? We’ll work something out. We’ll let you go visit, and I’ll stay outside the gates. Don’t cry, please, we’ll figure it all out. Promise.”

 

She nodded, but her eyes went even redder. More tears? Course he said the wrong fucking thing. Maybe talking was a bad idea. Maybe something else?

 

He leaned up to capture her lips with his, to give her a soft kiss, to try and reassure her that whatever was wrong, they’d work it out. They could figure anything out between the two of them. When his lips met hers, however, she bolted off of him, stumbling for a trash can. She gagged, but nothing came up, her eyes closed tight, like she was trying to relax.

 

Well that wasn’t a reaction he’d expected.

 

When the gagging stopped, she rubbed her hands over her eyes. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry, John, this isn’t fair to you.”

 

“Fuck fair. You want me? I’m here. Always have been, always will be. I won’t kiss you, won’t do a thing but hold you if that’s all you want. Let me do something, please. Don’t leave.”

 

She finally met his gaze. “You’re too good for me, you know that? You never thought you were good enough for me, but that’s not true. You’ve always been more than I deserved and I never saw it.” She walked back to the couch, steps slow, feet dragging on the ground. She crawled back on top of him, sliding her arms back into his jacket, getting as close as she could without crawling into his skin.

 

He wanted to ask her more question, but the soft shake of her shoulders told him to leave it be.

 

They’d work it out tomorrow. For tonight, he’d just hold her.

 

And plot to murder the fucker who had upset her.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Scarlett pulled her shirt off, back to the door. She’d slid into the empty room beside John’s office to dress. She’d gotten some water and a rag from one of the watch to scrub herself clean.

 

Patrick had haunted her dreams all night. Even though he hadn’t touched her much, she could still feel his fingers on her, his taste in her mouth.

 

The night in John’s arms had helped, but it didn’t erase it.

 

She sighed, unbuttoning her pants and sliding them off. The water was cold, so she worked quickly, washing her arms, her chest, her stomach, her legs. Her mind wandered as she cleaned.

 

It wasn’t even fair to be this upset over it. He’d kissed her, that was it. Boys kissed girls all the time. Why was she acting like it was some huge deal?

 

Because it was. Patrick had been family, part of her support system, someone she’d always counted on. Sure, she’d never been that close with him, but he’d been part of her constant. No matter what happened, he was one of the people she had, who she knew had her.

 

The day he’d told her about her parents he’d pulled her into a hug while she’d cried. He’d wanted her to stay with him then, too, but it never happened. She had Vadim, and Vadim was less complicated. But. . . he’d still been there for her. He’d held her while she sobbed, while she came to terms with the fact that her mom and dad were never coming back.

 

That was the hardest part, maybe. Before then, her life had been easy. She’d lived unlike many others, safe inside the Diamond City walls, protected from any real threats. When her parents died, she had to face the fact that life wasn’t the safe place she’d thought it was.

 

So Patrick doing that had shaken her. It had taken a piece of her life she’d trusted to be steady and demolished it.

 

But then Scarlett would start to think, and she’d rationalize it all away.

 

A kiss was just a kiss. He hadn’t raped her. He hadn’t shoved his hands down her pants. When she’d wanted to leave, he’d let her.

 

Not that John would see it that way. There were enough problems between the brothers, and she refused to cause more of them. That rift took too much from them both, she wouldn’t dig it deeper.

 

This was a mistake, a mistake caused because she hadn’t been clear enough.

 

“You’re thinking so hard, a Deathclaw could have wandered in here without you knowing.”

 

She kept her back to John. “I think one might have.”

 

“You need any help, sunshine? Got some spots on you I just don’t think you can reach on your own, though I’d love to watch you try.” He went silent for a moment. “Fuck. Sorry. After last night, I probably shouldn’t be trying pick-up lines, should I?”

 

She took a deep breath, not wanting to show any of her unease. “It’s okay. Yeah, I could use some help on my back. My shoulder is almost all better, but it doesn’t like to twist enough to reach my back.”

 

His boots struck the floor as he crossed the room. He reached around her, taking the damp rag from her hand. “You ready to tell me what last night was all about?”

 

“Not really, no.”

 

He set on hand on her shoulder to steady her, then rubbed the rag against her back in small circles, hard enough to take off any dirt but light enough to not scratch her. “Did I push you too far? Didn’t mean to upset you with that kiss.”

 

She shook her head. “You didn’t. It’s just. . .” she sighed, trying to tell him some truth without the whole truth. “Seeing Vadim and Yefim reminded me of how much life has changed, and how it’s always going to be changed. It was easy not to think about that before, but now? Now I have to accept it.” She didn’t want to talk about Patrick, but not mentioning him would be a big red flag, and John was observant. “Are you going to tell Patrick who you are?”

 

“Fuck that. He hated me when I was human, how do you think he’s gonna feel about me now?”

 

“You both are adults now. Maybe he’s changed.”

 

“He hasn’t let ghouls back into the city, so he hasn’t changed that much. Same pompous, self-important asshole he’s always been.” He knelt behind her, breath spilling over her ass as he wrung the rag and wet it with the water again. He stood and worked on her lower back. “No reason to go trying to cross that bridge, sunshine. It’s been fucked a long time and that’s fine with me. Even if he and I don’t get along, doesn’t mean you can’t see him. I know I was pissed yesterday, but I’ll suck it up. I ain’t gonna take your family away from you.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about that right now.”

 

“You gotta learn to talk to me, you know. Shit will never work if you can’t talk to me.”

 

“We will talk, just not now.” She released a soft moan when his fingers brushed her skin at her waist.

 

“I like that sound, but you gotta tell me if you want me to stop. Not really wanting to find you heaving over the trash again.”

 

“Don’t stop.”

 

He tossed the rag into the bowl of water, then turned her with a gentle grip on her hips. Her breasts pressed against his bare chest, and she realized he’d never put a shirt on. The rough skin of his chest brushed against her, warm and drawing a moan from her.

 

His lips tilted up. “Next time, tell me you’re washing up from the start. I can help, and I promise, I’m very thorough.” His voice held promise.

 

“I have a feeling instead of cleaning me, you’ll get me far filthier.”

 

“Yes, but then I’ll clean you again, and I have no problem using my tongue for that.” He leaned in, lips against her jaw. “I’m sure you haven’t forgotten how good I am with my tongue.”

 

Scarlett let her eyes close as she let the rasp of his voice sink into her and clear away everything else. With his hands and his dirty promises there was no room for anything else. No fears and regrets.

 

John kissed across her jaw, but avoided her lips. The kisses slowed until they stopped.

 

Scarlett opened her eyes, expected to see him with that sly smile, the one that said he knew he had her hooked.

 

Instead, she found anger, moments before it spilled through their link.

 

“Who bruised up your face?” His voice held a dangerous edge, all that lust from before having burned away in the wake of his anger.

 

She tried to pull back, but his arm behind her back didn’t relent, as if he didn’t even realize he was holding her. “No one,” she whispered. She hadn't looked in a mirror, hadn't realized Patrick might have left bruises on her face. They couldn't be that dark, but leave it to John to see them, to notice them. 

 

His free hand touched her cheeks, fingers spread out. She realized he was checking the bruises. “These are fingers. Someone gripped your cheeks. Last night, when you were upset, this is why? What did they do?”

 

She shook her head and pulled back again. This time, he released her. She took two steps backward, then paced.

 

John didn’t move, arms by his side, hands in fists. He stood there like a bonfire in the middle of the room. “Who hurt you? Let me help you, Scarlett. I dealt with the last person to hurt you, give me this one as well.”

 

“It was nothing.”

 

“Bullshit! Nothing doesn’t give you bruises; nothing doesn’t send you crying and shaking to my room. Why protect them?” He caught her before she paced past him again. “Let me have them, please.”

 

“He didn’t mean to. It was my fault. He kissed me and I should have told him no sooner.” The words spilled out of her mouth. “Nothing happened and it was my fault, John. I’m sorry.”

 

He pulled her against his chest, and without the link, she might have thought he was calmed. The link told her that was bull. The fury was worse, if anything. “Not your fault. You don’t get bruises because it’s your fault. Not mad at you, not at all.” His hand rubbed over her back, but his shoulders remained tense.

 

“I should have told him no years ago. I just never wanted to hurt his feelings.”

 

John moved backwards, eyes sharp. “Patrick? You’re talking about Patrick, aren’t you? That son of a bitch touched you?”

 

Scarlett grabbed John’s arm. “Stop, please. I don’t want this to come between you two.”

 

John pulled out of her grasp and walked toward the door. Scarlett pulled on her shirt and pants, forgoing anything else, before chasing him. He stopped at the neighbor watch at the top floor, reaching around him to pull the man’s knife from his belt. “Need this, brother.”

 

“What are you going to do?” Scarlett tried to grab his arm again, but he moved too fast.

 

“I’m going to finally gut that asshole.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

Nothing in the world existed besides the blade in John’s hand and Patrick. Two things that deserved to be together.

 

Fuck. The bruises weren’t dark on Scarlett’s face, but that didn’t matter. The idea that Patrick had gripped her face drove him feral. He imagined Patrick gripping her, shoving his tongue into Scarlett's mouth, the way she must have pulled away, the way he tightened his grip. Yeah, fuck that nonsense. 

 

It was almost worse than the man who’d beat her. At least she hadn’t known and trusted that man. Patrick though? Patrick should have known better. The way Scarlett had shaken the night before said it had frightened her, snapped her foundation. 

 

John kicked open the door to find Patrick standing there, eyes wide.

 

Fucking coward. Always had been. Patrick had never had a backbone, never been willing to do shit with his own hands. 

 

“What do you want, Mayor?” Patrick pulled his shoulders back, all arrogance.

 

Fucker forgot he wasn’t in his town. He was in John’s town, which meant he was fucked. 

 

John used the blade to point at Patrick. “You fucked up, brother. See, I ain’t got a lot of rules in my town. Pretty much, don’t fuck with anyone and they won’t fuck with you. You went and broke one of my few rules, though.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“You touched my mate.”

 

“John, don't do this.” Scarlett stood by the door, one of the neighborhood watch moving her backward, behind him, and keeping her from entering.

 

Patrick puffed out his chest like it would make him look bigger, stronger. “I kissed her, yes. I’ve known her for years, and we’ve always had something between us. The last time I checked, mates do not denote property. I’ve taken care of her for years. You will not swoop in and steal her away.”

 

John drug the blade against the wall as he approached Patrick, moving slow, drywall falling off from where he gouged the wall. “I ain’t one to control anyone. She wanted you? I’d have no problem with that shit. You had to go and upset her, though. You held her hard enough you left bruises on her. You touch her?”

 

Patrick’s face paled. “She wanted me to kiss her. Sometimes women play hard to get, they want you to chase. That’s all it was, a chase. She knows she wants me. If she didn’t, she’d have told me no a long time ago.”

 

John lost it. He was on Patrick so fast, he didn’t have a chance to tense, to prepare. John shoved Patrick against the wall, his forearm against his brother’s throat, blade pressed to his pulse. “You were always an asshole when we were growing up but I never expected this bullshit from you. Even when you kicked the ghouls out, when I didn't recognize you, I wouldn't have figured you for falling this fucking far.”

 

“Growing up-“ Patrick frowned, then his eyes lifted in realization. “John?”

 

“Happy fucking family reunion, huh? Mom always wanted us to get along. Well, looks like it’ll happen about five seconds before I open you up throat to balls.”

 

“Please, John, don’t.” Scarlett’s voice had him stilling as the blade pressed into Patrick’s throat enough to cause a bead of blood to form.

 

“He deserves to fucking die, Scar.”

 

She slid past the watch, then walked into the room. “Maybe he does, but I don’t want you to kill him.”

 

“You think this is your fault. It ain’t. This asshole not only touched you, hurt you and scared you, but he made you think it was your fault. That shit doesn’t fly in my world, can't fly. Maybe if I kill him here, you’ll feel better. I know I’ll feel better. Nothing like a bit of blood to wipe shit away.”

 

Scarlett set a hand on John’s arm. “Please don’t. If you kill him, Diamond City and Goodneighbor will be at war. I don’t want any of that on my shoulders. Let him go, John, for me?”

 

He took a deep breath. She knew just what do say, didn't she? If he killed the asshole now, he'd be proving he wasn't trustworthy to her. “Go to my room, Scarlett. I need to have a word with my brother in private.”

 

She leaned in and pressed a kiss to John’s cheek, a touch that eased some of the fire inside him, before he left. That trust was the only thing saving Patrick’s life, because John had disappointed too many people in his life. He didn’t want to disappoint her.

 

“I suggest you take your eyes off her, Patrick, before I gouge ‘em out.”

 

Patrick jerked his gaze away from the doorway Scarlett had walked out of, bringing it back to John. “So this is where you’ve been? Why am I not surprised you run a town of criminals and junkies, or that you became a ghoul? You always were a failure. Our parents would be disgusted to see what you’ve become.”

 

“Coming from a man who drove good people out of his city? You might as well have killed ‘em yourself, you coward. There were women and children there, Patrick.”

 

“Get off your high horse, John. You think I haven’t heard what you’ve done here? Mayor Hancock of Goodneighbor, who got into power by killing the last Mayor and all his men? You’ve killed more than your share of people, so don’t you lecture me. Men in power do what they have to do.”

 

“Fuck you, I ain’t having this argument with you. Only reason you might walk out of here is because I fucking love that girl, and she doesn’t want me to kill you. Me? Personally? Don’t fucking care. I’d be happier slicing you up. If you know my reputation, you know I ain’t got a problem doing that.”

 

Patrick tried to push John, but John dug the knife in a little deeper. Patrick had always been bigger than John, but it had taught John to fight dirty, to be faster, more vicious. He was thin, but he was relentless.

 

John took a deep breath, then stepped back, releasing Patrick. “You’re gonna get the fuck outta my town and not come back. And you ever look at Scarlett again, fuck you ever think about her? I’ll castrate you so fast you’re gonna wish I finished you off here. We clear?”

 

Patrick straightened his jacket. “Yes. We’re clear.” He walked toward the door.

 

“Oh, Patrick?”

 

Patrick stopped and turned to face John. “What?”

 

“Which hand did you grab her with? Left hand, right? Judging from the bruises, I'd guess left.”

 

“What does it matter?”

 

“It matters, so humor me? As a thank you for letting you leave while breathing.” John rolled the blade in his hand, over his knuckles, playing with it while keeping his face blank.

 

Patrick lifted his left hand, face too damned arrogant. The asshole didn’t think John would kill him, didn’t think John would dare hurt him. “This one.”

 

“Thought so.” John threw the knife, smiling at the scream Patrick let out when it buried to the hilt in his palm. “You ever think about fucking with my mate again? Just remember this. Next thing of yours that touches her gets cut off entirely. Go ahead and keep the knife, as a reminder.”

 

#

 

Scarlett sat on the couch. Somehow, she stayed in place, even when Patrick let out that scream. She had to trust John.

 

Ten minutes later, he walked in, still shirtless, eyes tired.

 

“Is he alive?”

 

He lifted his gaze and nodded. “Not fucking happy about it, but yeah, he is. He’s headed back to Diamond City with a hole in his hand, but alive.”

 

“Thank you. I know you let him go for me.”

 

John sat on the opposite couch, the position he so often sat in, knees wide like he planned on taking up all the space he could. “Why didn’t you let me kill him? We both know he’s a shit person. Why let him go? Is he right? Do you love him or something?”

 

Scarlett moved over to crawl into Hancock’s lap. He didn’t grab her, didn’t grope at her, only stared up into her eyes.

 

“I don’t love him. I never wanted him and he knows it. I just couldn’t stand the idea that you’d kill your brother because of me.”

 

John rubbed his hands over his face hard. “You know Fahr, right?”

 

“Yeah, of course.” She hadn’t talked much to the woman, but she was hard to not notice. A woman as tall, muscled, and confident as Fahrenheit stood out.

 

“Well, that behemoth of an ass-kicker went through hell before I took over here. You don’t understand the town back then. Asshole named Vic ran the place and he put a lot of people through hell, but none more than her. She spent a long time thinking it was her fault. Not sure why people like to blame themselves over this bullshit, but they do. Maybe it makes it safer? If it’s her fault, she can stop it from ever happening again? Who the fuck knows. But Patrick made his choice and it wasn’t your fault. He did it because he’s an asshole, that’s it. None of this is your fault, and if I kill him? It’ll be because it’s my choice, not because of you.”

 

Scarlett frowned at the words, shaking her head. “It wasn’t like that. Patrick didn’t do anything like that. It wasn’t that bad.”

 

John moved, fast enough she flinched when he grasped the back of her neck and pulled her forward, resting his forehead against hers. “Shut up, Scar. Just because he didn’t rape you doesn’t mean what he did was okay. And trust me, the asshole sees nothing wrong with what he did, and if he got the chance? He’d do that and more. Men like him don’t change, they think the world owes ‘em everything and they got no problem tearing people apart to get it. I get that you may not see it yet, that you still have all this bullshit up in your head, but I’m going to remind you every fucking day that it’s not your fault until you believe it.”

 

It was the look in his eyes that told her he wasn’t kidding. He’d tell her every day because he believed it, and that belief? It made it easier to believe it herself. If was looking down at him that made her realize. . . she loved him. He’d admitted it before, but to think he not only was willing to kill someone for her, but willing to not kill someone? Yeah, she loved him and had for a long time if she had to admit it.

 

Not that she’d tell the cocky bastard. He probably already knew.

 

Instead, she smiled down at him. “You think maybe we could try for that kiss again?”

 

“You planning on throwing up? Because, I’m into a lot, but I ain’t into that.”

 

“Fine. I don’t need to kiss you.” She pushed off his chest to stand, but he grasped her hips to pull her back down.

 

“Oh, I ain’t letting you go anywhere, sunshine. Every time I let you outta my sight, you get yourself into trouble. I plan on keeping a damned close eye on you.”

 

“I have an idea about that.”

 

“Really? Do tell.”

 

“I think you could keep a better eye on my if you took me to bed. Can’t imagine I could get into much trouble there that you couldn't bail me out of.”

 

He laughed, standing and wrapping her legs around his waist. “I like the way you think, sister.”

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

John laid Scarlett on the bed in her room. No one had paid them any mind when he carried her into the room, but he’d never been one to be shy, and why the fuck would he be when he had someone like her wrapped around him?

 

Nah, he had no shame about that shit.

 

The bruises on her face still fucked with him, but instead of trying to ignore them, he leaned in and pressed kisses along them. They were his apology, for not being there. It did seem he failed her a lot. Got himself high when she’d been hurt, was sulking when Patrick grabbed her.

 

He needed to knock that shit off.

 

Scarlett twisted her face so her lips met his, her hands unhooking his pants.

 

“Ain’t someone inpatient?” He didn’t stop her, though, letting her fingers work until she managed his pants free on her own.

 

“I want you.”

 

He groaned. “But I have a present for you. Don’t you want your present, first?”

 

Her hand slipped into his pants and grasped his cock. “What I want, is this.”

 

His chuckle was forced, an attempt to keep the mood light when what he wanted to was to rip her clothes off and push into her.

 

Slow, asshole. Slow.

 

“Not like I’m gonna say no to you. Only an idiot would do that.”

 

“You said no to me before. You told me you weren’t going to fuck me.”

 

“Guess I’m an idiot, then.” He reached, nearly falling off her and the bed, until he could fish his hand into the nightstand.

 

“What are you doing? I don’t think I’m ready for anything you’d pull out of there.”

 

“Don’t worry sunshine, I’ll warm you up to all my perversions.” He closed his fingers around the small bottle in there, unscrewing the lid with a single hand and grabbing a pill.

 

Her mouth closed around the pill, and his finger, when he pressed both to her lips. She swallowed the pill, tongue wrapping around his finger. The fact she didn’t even question made him lean down and kiss her again. He liked that trust, needed it.

 

So few people in his life had really trusted him. First because he was the rebel, the troublemaker, and later because he was a ghoul. Her trusting him meant everything.

 

She released him and worked herself out of her own pants, even as John kissed her, refusing to break it for anything. At least until she shoved his shoulders so she could pull her shirt off.

 

“How’d I get so lucky?” He moved to kiss her throat, holding his weight on one hand while his other trailed down her body to between her legs.

 

“Would you stop trying to talk to me when you touch me?”

 

He slid a finger into her, smiling at her sharp inhale. “I like talking to you when you’re distracted. I like watching you struggle to pay attention, knowing I got all your focus. Plus, you answer me when I don’t know if you would any other time.”

 

She squirmed beneath his touch, wrapping one leg around her hip, pressing that heel into the small of his back. “You don’t distract me that much, John.”

 

He nipped at her throat while he pumped that finger into her once, deep, his thumb brushing her clit.

 

She arched up against him, shuddering on a soft moan. When she opened her eyes, met with his grin, she shoved his shoulder again. “Don’t get cocky.”

 

His hips shifted forward, his cock brushing against her leg. “Speaking of, sunshine. You sure about this? Not too late to back out. We got time, and this ain’t gotta happen today. Waited a long time, we can wait longer.”

 

“I waited more than long enough. Get to it, John.”

 

He huffed out a soft laugh before pulling his fingers from her. “Okay. Let’s try this, huh?” He fit his cock against her cunt, not pressing in, yet. He pressed his forehead against hers. “You ready?”

 

She tilted her head to slid her tongue along his lip. “You’ve faced down worse than this, and I bet you weren’t so nervous.”

 

“You forget, you like to knee me in the balls when I fuck up.” He sighed after the joke before whispering against her lips. “Been waiting for this my whole fucking life, Scar. Been thinking about it, dreaming about it, never thinking I’d have it. So, yeah, I’m really fucking nervous.”

 

“Why are you the one acting like a virgin here?”

 

“Because this matters to me. I’ve fucked a lot, but it never mattered. Just bodies, but you’re not just a body. You’re more than that and that? That I’ve never fucking done. So stop busting my balls over this, okay?”

 

“John?”

 

“What?” He refused to look at her, trying to peptalk his body into getting on with it. What's the worst that could happen? She could hate having sex with him and throw him out and refuse to ever see him again.

 

Right, that.

 

She leaned up to press her lips against his ear. “Fuck me already, please?” She yanked with the foot in the small of his back, causing him to sink the first inch into her.

 

Fuck. She was tight and warm and it took everything he had to not fill her in one thrust.

 

“You’ve always been fucking trouble, you know that?”

 

“Learned from the best. Now get on with it.”

 

He shook his head on a chuckle, moving his hand from his cock to her hip, then continued to slide into her in shallow thrusts.

 

After a moment, she squirmed beneath him.

 

“You okay there? Does it hurt? Need me to slow down?”

 

“Slow down, and I’ll make you regret it.” She yanked with that foot again, this time lifting her hips at the same time until was fully inside her.

 

“Inpatient little thing, ain’t ya?”

 

“You make me impatient, John. You make me handsy. You make me do things I never thought I could.”

 

He pulled back to look down at her. “You make me want to be good enough, to knock off the bullshit I fill my life with, to be the person you think I am. Been searching for something so long and it was always just things to replace you with, and none of ‘em worked. All I wanted was you.”

 

He reached his hand down to her thigh, gripping behind her knee to angle her hips up as he slid out, then pressed in again.

 

Her head dropped back, eyes closed, exposing her throat. He wanted to lean down and taste her skin, to scrape his teeth over her flesh, but he didn’t. He had other things to focus on.

 

He braced his weight on his knee so he could take her, deep and hard, careful to listen, to watch her face. She didn’t hiss, didn’t wince, and within a few thrusts she’d begun to lift her hips against him.

 

Her hand slid down her own body, brushing her nipples, before settling between her legs, toying with her clit. She stopped when her eyes opened, as if she’d just realized what she was doing. Red covered her cheeks.

 

“Keep going.” John swallowed, trying to smooth his voice out, but fuck she made a pretty picture like that. “My hands are both busy, so go on, sunshine.”

 

Her teeth caught her bottom lip as she returned her hand to her clit. Her fingers brushed his cock as she did it, and he slowed as she traced her fingers around where they were connected, pulling a broken groan from him.

 

She was gonna kill him, and that was just fucking fine with him.

 

She moved her hand back, focusing on her clit, tiny jerks of her hips coming more quickly.

 

John hiked that leg up higher as he set a faster pace. Neither of them were soft and sweet people, so he took her hard.

 

She met every thrust, just as lost as he was to that moment. Their link told him she loved every moment, spurred him on until that edge approached. He considered trying to hold off, but this was her first time. She’d end up sore faster, and he wanted her again and again before he let her out of that bed.

 

He bent, leaning down to rake his teeth over one of her nipples, hard enough she gasped before her cunt tightened down on him, so tight he had to stop moving as she came. Her hand flew to his shoulders, nails digging in as she pulsed around him.

 

She drew in a shaky breath when her nails loosened, so he went back to fucking her, in short, quick strokes.

 

She writhed beneath him, and he knew why. She was really fucking sensitive, and he had to admit, he liked it. He liked the way she twisted, trying to ground herself, trying to hold onto something, his pelvic brushing her clit at the bottom of every thrust, pulling whimpers from her.

 

He shoved in deep as he came, emptying in to her, breath hard as he pressed kisses to her cheeks, her jaw, tiny thank yous.

 

His breath slowed, moment by moment, and he slid from her as he softened. “Worth the wait?”

 

She rolled to her side next to him, so she could face him, a sweet smile across her lips. “Very worth it.”

 

“Good. I wanted to get it right, you know? Lot of shit I’ve gotten wrong, but you? You need I get right. I want you to want to be here, with me. Speaking of, you think you’re ready for the gift?”

 

“Why did you get me a gift? Is it a special day I don’t know about?”

 

John pressed a kiss to her lips before rolling over and walking to the dresser, pulling the paperwork out. He didn’t worry about being naked, that didn’t bother him much. “Not a special day. I just have been thinking about how you said you didn’t know what you wanted to do. Been thinking about it a lot. See, I want Goodneighbor to be your home, not just the place you gotta stay because of your mate, I want it to be your town, too.” He wasn’t sure how to say what he was trying to say, so he just stuck the paperwork out for her.

 

Scarlett frowned, sitting up and taking the papers, shuffling through them. The more she read, the more those eyebrows of hers inched together. “You can’t do this, John.”

 

“Already done. Shit’s official. The Third Rail is yours.”

 

She set the papers down on the bed. “You can’t just give me a bar. That’s insane. It’s yours, I’m not taking it.”

 

He crawled back onto the bed beside her. “Actually, it’s not mine. It’s yours, Scar. I barely ran the thing before, leaving it to Charlie, and you know saw how shitty he runs it. This has nothing to do with us. I want you to have something of yours, something you can do. You’ve helped Vadim forever in Diamond City, you can do this. No matter what happens with us, it’s yours. This town, I want it to be your home, and maybe having a part of it that is yours will help that? Already told Mags and Ham and Charlie. It’s all set.”

 

She said nothing, just stared at the paperwork.

 

Fuck. Had he gone too far? Had he assumed too much? “Look, we can just table this, yeah? Didn’t mean to overstep any bounds-“

 

He got nothing else out before Scarlett had was in his lap. She knocked him backward, off the bed. He groaned as his back struck the floor, but if anyone could mix a little pain with fucking, it was him. He returned her kiss, hand reaching behind her neck so he could taste her.

 

She broke the kiss. “I can’t believe you’d do this for me, just to try and make me happy. No ones ever done anything like this for me.”

 

“Fuck, you thank me like this, you’re gonna end up with the whole town pretty fucking soon, sister.”

 

“I don’t want the whole town. Only one thing I want.”

 

He grinned, playing stupid. “Oh, I know, Fred makes the best jet.”

 

Scarlett nipped his shoulder, then kissed the spot. “Only thing I want is you, John.”

 

“Well, lucky for you, because you got that. Though, sorry, you’re gonna have to give me a little time before I’m useful again.”

 

Her kiss in response had him smiling.

 

Yeah, he could get used to this. 


	15. Chapter 15

 

John laughed as he leaned against the gate outside Goodneighbor, Fahr beside him. They were picking off radroaches, an old game they hadn’t done in years.

 

It was how he’d taught her to shoot, by taking her out of the gates and tracking radroaches. The first time she’d hit one, she’d thrown her arms around him, taller than he was, and damn near picked him up.

 

He was losing her soon. He knew it, in the way she’d stopped insulting him. The only reason she wouldn’t insult him would be if she knew she was about to hurt him a hell of a lot worse.

 

But he couldn’t blame her. He’d seen the looks she and Vadim had exchanged, and hadn’t missed her disappearing the night Vadim was in town. He was happy for her, wanted her to have a good life. If anyone deserved that shit, it was her. And Vadim was a good man, one of the few that seemed to be around. Any man who could let his mate go for that long was a fucking angel. Fuck knew John couldn’t have done that.

 

Still, he’d miss her. She was a staple of the city, like the smell of urine soaked garbage. Something annoying but part of the charm of the town.

 

“Out with it, sister. We ain’t beating around the bush types.”

 

She aimed down her scope and nailed a radroach at the end of the street. “I’m going to Diamond City.”

 

“Figured as much. You know you always got a home here, right?”

 

“Doesn’t matter where I go, this’ll always be home, thanks to you.” She took a deep breath before sliding her rifle over her back. “You know, I never really thanked you, for giving me that knife, for what you did to Vic.”

 

“Never gotta thank me. That’s the thing about family, you ain’t gotta say thanks.”

 

She reached over then and yanked John into a tight hug, stiff and uncomfortable. Yeah, she’d grown, but she still didn’t care for touching. Only touching she did was fighting. Still, she gripped him in that tight hug like he was her anchor, her arms squeezing him hard enough he could hardly breath.

 

It reminded him why she was his bodyguard. The woman was scary.

 

He wrapped his own arms around her to return the hug until she pulled back.

 

“Well, now that I’ve made this really fucking pathetic, I think I’ll head off.”

 

“Already? Come on, we’ll celebrate. Give you a proper goodbye. We can burn the Third Rail down, it ain’t mine anymore.”

 

“Sorry, but I’m more scared of Scarlett than I am of you. She’s too charming for her own good. And the offer goes the other way, you know that, right, asshole? You need anything, you tell me.”

 

“You always gotta say goodbye in your way, don’t ya? Not many people end an emotional parting by calling the person an asshole.”

 

She grinned. “Yeah, but not many people are as much of an asshole as you are.”

 

“True enough, true enough. Go on, Fahr, and you better fucking write and visit. You don’t? I’ll drag my ghoul ass in there and cause all sorts of problems. Now, go on, before we end up crying.”

 

She nodded, then walked off, flipping him the middle finger just before she turned a corner.

 

Fuck, that hurt. How could she be gone? It was like losing something vital, some part of the city that held everything else together.

 

He closed his eyes as he thought back to all his times with her, all the growing she’d done, fuck that they’d both done.

 

Before he knew it, the sun had started to set. Probably time to get back, right?

 

Something sharp struck his shoulder. A needle of some sort? He brushed it off, and it shattered against the ground.

 

John got up, but his legs refused to work. He stumbled forward, slamming his face against the ground when his arms wouldn’t catch him. The fuck was going on?

 

Hands grabbed him, and he pulled against them, reaching for his rifle, but none of his limbs were responding.

 

“Be careful with him, asshole.” The voices were hard to pay attention to, his head spinning. Fuck, this had to be med-x, and a big fucking dose if he had to guess. This wasn’t party dosage, this was knocking someone out dosage.

 

“Why? Just a ghoul. Who fucking cares if he gets banged up?” They hoisted him up and over one’s shoulder.

 

“You know the orders. Any marks are gonna come out of your cut, not mine. I’ll leave the note, you get him back to Diamond City. McDonough isn’t a man to keep waiting.”

 

John slide into unconsciousness, his last thoughts of Scarlett. Fuck, he should have kissed her goodbye.  

 

#

 

Scarlett frowned as she realized John was nowhere close. The loud music and drunks of The Third Rail had distracted her, so she hadn’t even noticed until she walked out of it. The bond was still new, and they didn’t seem to rely on it as heavily as some other mates. Maybe they were just both too damned independent.

 

Did he have an errand to run? Over the last two weeks in Goodneighbor, Scarlett had come to realize that John did more than she’d known. He often went out with the watch to clear raiders and super mutants who camped too close to the city, not wanting to screw with trade routes or travelers.

 

Usually, he’d stop in and kiss her goodbye, but maybe this was an emergency? Maybe there wasn’t time to stop for anything.

 

Across the link she sensed nothing, almost like he was asleep. At least there was no fear, and she hadn’t caught any extreme emotions. Some sadness, but he’d admitted to her the night before that he suspected Fahr would be leaving soon. Maybe she’d said her goodbyes, and he’d drowned his sorrows in a chem break?

 

He didn’t tend to get so high he blacked out anymore, but every once in a while he’d over indulge.

 

Neighborhood watch in the Statehouse didn’t know. They didn’t tend to keep a tight leash on anyone. Well, other than her. It seemed everyone watched out for her, probably by John’s orders.

 

Scarlett went up to their room to find a note on the bed. She opened it, holding it near the light to make out the big, block letters.

 

 

_Scarlett,_

 

_Something’s wrong. I can’t think straight, can’t focus. All I can think about is Patrick. I know you didn’t want me to, but I have to kill him. I’ve got this thing inside me that won’t let me let it go. I’m probably not coming back from this, so don’t bother following me. I’m sorry._

 

_Hancock_

 

Scarlett frowned at the letter, the words nothing like John, nothing like what he’d say. It lacked his charm and his cursing. He was gone, though, that much of the note was true. He never called himself Hancock, so why would he sign it like that? And what did he mean, something was wrong? He’d seemed fine that morning.

 

He'd rolled over and kissed her awake before sliding into her. Thanks to him, she'd been an hour late to the Third Rail, but it wasn't like anyone questioned her. Hell, the smirks told her they knew damned well what had kept her. But, nothing had seemed wrong. 

 

Though, if she was right, the link implied he probably was in Diamond City. It was the right direction and right distance, but he knew better than to go there. After the altercation with Patrick, even if he wasn’t shoot on sight for being a ghoul, he’d be shoot on sight now.  

 

She shoved the note into her pocket and went to gather her things. She slid on the armor John had given her, pulling her hair back, out of her face.

 

She was going to get to the bottom of this. Fuck him telling her to stay out of it, he should know her better than that.

 

The rifle John had given her was the last thing she grabbed before setting off toward Diamond City to get some answers from her mate.

 


	16. Chapter 16

 

John woke when someone backhanded him. He spat blood, then bared his teeth, snapping as if he could catch the hand that did it.

 

“You’re awake finally. It seems these fools don’t know how to dose med-x correctly. I half-feared they’d killed you.”

 

John forced his eyes open. “You won’t walk away this time, Patrick. I let you have an out once, but now? Now you’re mine.” He tried to yank with his hands, but couldn’t move them.

 

Drugged still?

 

No, handcuffs. Any other time he’d have enjoyed the bondage but right then? Nope, not into it.

 

“Relax, John. This is all out of your hands. We left a note for Scarlett, from you. It said to stay there, but I’m sure she’s on her way. She is, isn’t she?”

 

Yeah, she was. John felt her getting closer, could feel the anxiety and fear. She probably caught wind of his anger when he woke. “Nah. She ain’t coming.”

 

Patrick pulled a chair up in front of John and sat. “Liar. She’s on her way. Scarlett has always been too sweet, too quick to help. I know this is all my fault. I kept waiting, hoping she’d see me and come to me. I should have just acted. I should have come to her sooner, told her how I felt. We would have never gotten into this mess if I'd just made her realize she loved me sooner.”

 

“She’s never gonna want you, especially after you kill me. She’ll gut you herself.”

 

“No. Not after I save her from you.”

 

“The fuck are you on about? I’d never hurt her.”

 

Patrick lifted a syringe filled with something John didn’t recognize. “You’re a ghoul, and if there is one thing I know, and that Scarlett has already started to learn, it is that all ghouls turn on you eventually.”

 

“What is that?”

 

“You were always better at taking chems, but I am better at developing them. This is a special concoction, a combination of psycho, buffout, a few other nasty things and a good dose of radiation. This will essentially turn you feral.”

 

“Chems don’t do that.” The words lacked confidence. People on psycho could seem fucking feral, he had to admit. With the other shit in it? Who knew.

 

“Trust me, this does. I’ve used it before. It doesn’t actually destroy your brain like a feral ghoul, but it muddies it enough that you become essentially feral. It wears off, sometimes, though sometimes it doesn’t.”

 

John stared at the mixture until his brain caught up. “You used that on the ghoul who attacked Scarlett’s parents, didn’t you? You set them up to get killed.”

 

“Very good. Yes, I did. I killed two crows with a single bullet on that one. Increase the fear of ghouls to secure my appointment as mayor, and remove a barrier between Scarlett and I. Of course, I had no idea Vadim would step up and take her in, or that he’d be so adamant against my courting her. I almost ended him as well, but his Inn is important to the city. This time? When Scarlett is almost killed by you, and I save her? She’ll realize how much she needs me, how much she loves me.”

 

John yanked at his cuffs again. “Kill me. Don’t risk her, Patrick. If I’m dead, the link is broken.” He hated the idea, but Scarlett could take care of herself. Plus, Vadim and Fahr would watch over her. Fuck, all of Goodneighbor would. Deal with one problem at a time, and if he killed her, none of the other bullshit mattered. “If I’m dead, you can have her. Don’t do this.”

 

“I thought about that, but you know what? I like this plan better. First of all, it lets me save her. Women love that hero thing. Two? I want her, and everyone, to see you for the filth you are. I want the great John to be nothing more than a drool, snapping animal, and I want her to see it. She might get a little hurt, but I won’t let you do too much damage. Believe it or not, I do love her. I’ll keep her safe, even from you.”

 

Patrick lifted the syringe. “I suppose it’s time. This will stay in your system for at least twenty-four hours, if not forever. Some ghouls never come out of it. I just wanted a moment to talk to you, first. With you gone, I’ll be the last of our family. I have to say thank you, because with your death, you’ll secure my future. Finally, you’ll be useful.” He pressed the needle into John’s neck and injected the chems.

 

It took a few minutes before he started to feel it, when his head clouded, when his hands began to yank against the cuffs without him meaning to.

 

He was slipping away, turning into a monster. His eyes closed while he tried to hang on, to repeat his name in his head, over and over, to repeat Scarlett’s name.

 

He lost track of time as he fell into the rage, into the hunger, into the emptiness the chems created. And in the void?

 

There was no John Hancock in that void.

 

#

 

Scarlett stopped in front of her house. John was inside. Their link told her that, but it also scared the hell out of her. She couldn’t feel _him_ in the link, couldn't sort out his emotions, couldn't sense any of the man she knew. Just this bottomless rage.

 

She opened the door and slid into the house, locking it behind her. She couldn’t risk anyone finding him there; they’d kill him. She needed to get him out of there as quickly and quietly as possible. 

 

The house was dark, so Scarlett walked quietly to the light switch. She flipped it, bathing the room in the light from a single bulb hanging in the center of the ceiling.

 

Across the living room John stood, his back to her, attention on the empty wall in front of him. 

 

“John, you scared me. What are you doing here? What’s with this note?” She pulled the note from her pocket and threw it at him, striking him in the back with it. It rebounded off him and fell to the floor. 

 

He turned, slowly, moving in strange in jerky motions. His shirt was ripped, as if he’d torn at it. His eyes, always black, were flat like he couldn’t see anything. His head tilted, strange noises coming from his throat, something between clicks or gurgles.

 

“John?” Even as she whispered, she knew. She recognized the movements. She'd seen feral ghouls now and then, near the city gates when the guards took care of them. John moved exactly like those feral ghouls.

 

Even as he stared at her, his emotions showed no change, like he had no idea who she was. His hands opened then closed, like he was trying to grab.

 

A tear rolled down her cheek as she grabbed for her rifle. “Please talk to me. You’re scaring me, John. Come on, say something. It's me.”

 

His head tilted more, and she almost thought she’d gotten through to him.

 

Until he lunged across the room at her.

 


	17. Chapter 17

 

Scarlett stumbled backward, avoiding John’s lunge. He struck the wall, then shook his head like a mutt, like he was trying to clear it. The rifle in her hands reminded her of options.

 

But she couldn’t shoot him. It didn’t matter what happened, there was no way she could shoot him.

 

She kept it in front of her, though. She couldn’t fire it, but she had no problem clubbing him with it if she needed to. “This isn’t you, John. Just stop and think.”

 

He continued that shaking of his head, hard and fast. “Scar.” His voice was rough, gravelly, harsh. He didn’t look at her, still facing the other way. He drug his nails against the wall, scratching it.

 

“Yeah, it’s me.”

 

Ferals didn’t recognize people. What was going on with him? What was wrong with him?

 

He didn’t face her, just turned to pace along that wall, back and forth, ignoring her. He couldn’t be feral. She refused to accept it, wouldn’t even consider it. There was no way she could lose him like that.

 

“Look at me, would you? Let me help you.”

 

Scarlett scooted forward, trying to ignore the growls he released, trying to not let them frighten her. Under all of this, it was still John, her John.

 

“Don’t do this. I need you, John.”

 

He lunged again, and this time she couldn’t move fast enough. He took her to the ground, hard. Damn, she hadn’t realized how heavy he was. Even as thin as he was, as small, he had to be all muscle when he pinned her.

 

His teeth snapped above her, a line of spittle dropping to her cheek. Still, he didn’t hurt her, didn’t tear into her, didn’t use his fingers or teeth against her. His gaze didn’t lock on her either, didn’t seem to see her.

 

Scarlett flinched when he reached for her, but he didn’t pull back. His fingers touched his face, sliding over her cheeks in a touch so similar to the one she was used to.

 

His gaze focused for a moment, frowning like he was confused.

 

“John?”

 

A bullet echoed off the walls, and John was thrown off her. He snarled, ducking against the wall.

 

Hands grabbed her and yanked her too her feet. “Are you okay, Scarlett? Did he hurt you?” Patrick cupped her chin, tilting her head, looking into her eyes.

 

Scarlett shoved his hands off, then reached for John who crouched against the wall, blood pouring from his shoulder. Patrick wouldn’t release her, though.

 

“He’ll kill you. He’s feral, Scarlett, just look at him. I know you don’t want to hear it, but this is what happens to all ghouls. This is what happened to the ghoul who killed your parents, and I won’t watch it happen to you, too.” Patrick yanked her back toward him, hard enough she cried out.

 

John went stiff, standing, gaze locking on where Patrick’s hand was on her. His soft growls deepened and got louder, until it felt like it vibrated through the room.

 

“I think you should let go,” Scarlett said.

 

“He’s a monster. I’m not going to let him determine what happens.” Patrick lifted his rifle.

 

Scarlett shoved the rifle, the shot striking a foot above John.

 

Patrick raised his hand and backhanded her, sending her to the ground. “You fool! I’m tired of trying to save you from yourself.”

 

John was on Patrick in a heartbeat, sailing past Scarlett. The rifle was thrown free, sliding beside Scarlett, and Patrick’s scream filled the space.

 

But she couldn't let John kill him. The guards would kill him if he did. 

 

Scarlett moved closer, setting a hand on John’s back. He stilled at the contact. “Let him go, John. You kill him? They’ll kill you. Show me you’re still in there and move back.”

 

John released him, turning toward her. Blood covered his face, his jaw, his lips. A wound in Patrick’s neck, near his shoulder, told her what had happened. John had bitten free a large chunk of flesh free. Had he eaten it?

 

Damn, she hoped not.

 

John crawled to her, rubbing his face against her, the growl shifting to what could almost be a purr. He wrapped himself around her.

 

“Should have known you two would cause trouble.” Patrick pressed a hand to the wound. “All I wanted was you, Scarlett. You never wanted me, though, always wanted him. Even now, even after I turned him into that, you want him. I think you’re just as broken as he is.”

 

“You did this to him?”

 

“He would have turned into this anyway on his own. I just helped him along his way with a little injection. Doesn’t matter now. The gunshot means the guards will be here in a few minutes. You have a choice, Scarlett. You can finally give in to me and agree to be mine. We’ll say John went feral and I saved you. I’ll take care of you and give you a good life. Or, they burst in here, kill John and you if you interfere.”

 

Scarlett rubbed her hand over John’s head. “I’m not going to let anyone kill him, especially not since you did this. You’re not as smart as you think you are.”

 

Patrick pulled himself to his feet, hand still trying to hold his wound. Blood leaked through his fingers. “I’m smarter than any of you. I outsmarted you when I used this same trick on your parents.”

 

“You killed my parents?”

 

“No. A feral did. I just helped set things up. Ferals have been stealing everything from you. Aren’t you tired of it?”

 

Scarlett couldn’t breathe for a moment. Patrick had had her parents killed? He’d been manipulating her life that long?

 

Her fingers closed around the rifle John had taken from him, the one that Patrick had brought in with him.

 

“Ferals haven’t been stealing things from me. You have.” She lifted the rifle. “And yes, I am tired of it.”

 

Scarlett pulled the trigger, unloaded shot after shot. He slammed into the wall, and she didn’t stop pulling the trigger until he slid to the floor, until she was sure no amount of stimpacks could repair the damage she did.

 

The door opened, but it wasn’t the guards who rushed in. Fahr and Vadim did, instead, a pistol in Fahr’s hand.

 

John moved again, pushing Scarlett against the wall, crowding her with his body, keeping himself between her and the new people in the room.

 

“Don’t shoot!” She tried to move, but John kept her pinned behind him as he snarled. “Patrick injected him with something. He’s not feral.”

 

Fahr took one look at John, the snarling feral he appeared to be, before holstering her gun. “Well fuck.”

 

 

#

 

One week later, Scarlett sat outside the door of John’s room. They'd set him up inside one of the other houses in Diamond City to give them both some privacy. They’d reinforced the windows and placed a cell door to the bedroom, so Scarlett could talk to him, but nothing had helped.

 

He’d paced, snarled, growled. He took little notice of anyone.

 

Fahr had come by many times, but he ignored her, even when she threatened to kick his ass if he didn’t wake the fuck up.

 

Nothing helped.

 

At least Fahr knew what it was he’d been injected with, had heard of it before. The ugly cocktail could turn a ghoul feral, and many never went back to their old selves. The only thing they could do was wait and hope he came out of it. She'd started to think even Fahr had given up, and everyone was trying to soften the blow to Scarlett.

 

She wasn't ready to give up on him, though. She'd never give up on him because he'd never have given up on her. 

 

“You know, I really miss you calling me sunshine,” Scarlett said, head against the bars of the cell.

 

She liked to talk to him, chatting away for hours, until her throat was dry and sore. Did it help? She didn’t know, but she knew she’d spend every day doing it if that’s what it took.

 

Fingers brushed her face, and she tilted her gaze up. He’d reached through the cells, catching her tears. He drew his hands back, looking down at the way they glistened in the ridges of his burns. His eyebrow ridges drew together before he shook his head and rubbed the tears between his finger and thumb. “No,” he said, voice rough from disuse.

 

Scarlett was up and off the floor in a heartbeat, unlatching the cell and moving inside.

 

Vadim had made her promise to stay out of the cell. He’d made her repeat it ten times, write it, and sign the paper.

 

But fuck that. This was the first sign John had made that he was still in there since they’d brought him here a week before. There was no way she’d just ignore it.

 

Scarlett knelt in front of him cupping her hands on either side of his face, trying to get him to look at her, to see her. “I can’t do this without you, John. You have to come back to me. Please, I’ll do anything, but I need you. You can’t make me realize what I need and then take it away. You can’t, John, it’s not fair.”

 

No reaction.

 

She leaned in and kissed him. Shoving away the hesitation when she remembered the sight of what he’d torn out of Patrick with his bare teeth took effort, but words hadn’t worked. Maybe this would?

 

She tried to deepen the kiss, sliding her lips against his, coaxing a reaction, trying to reach into his mind, into the part of him that was still her John, and pull that out.

 

As she was about to give up, his lips shifted. Not much, but it was a reaction. His breath shuddered out before his arms came around her, pulling her against him in a tight grip.

 

His mouth devoured hers, tongue pressing into hers, and she was so thankful they’d managed to clean away all the blood from Patrick.

 

He rolled her to her back, tearing at her clothing. She didn’t fight him, giving in, letting him have her. Even if he never came back to her, she wouldn’t deny him. She trusted him. He’d had every chance to hurt her, but even out of his mind on those chems Patrick had given him, he’d only protected her.

 

He yanked her pants down, tearing the at the waist until he had access. He did the same to his own pants, the button flying off, causing a sting when it struck her thigh.

 

The head of his cock pressed against her, stilling, as if waiting for something.

 

Scarlett rubbed her thumb against his cheek. “It’s okay. I need you, John.”

 

He didn’t waste any time, sliding in in a single hard thrust. It hurt, making her arch her back before forcing herself to relax.

 

John didn’t move above her, kissing her cheeks instead, shaking his head. After another moment, he moved slower, pulling out and sliding back into her. The pain from the first thrust melted away as he gentled. His lips returned to hers, hands loosening.

 

“Love you,” he whispered between kisses.

 

“Welcome back,” she said. “I was so scared I’d never have you back.”

 

He wrapped an arm around the small of her back and pulled her against him tighter. “Never getting rid of me. Mine.” His hips continued to move, going faster. He came quickly, panting as he held her flush against him, kissing into her hair. “Mine.”

 

She twisted her head to kiss his cheek. “You’re mine, too.”

 

#

 

John pulled at his coat, glad it hadn’t gotten ruined. Patrick had taken it off him and saved it. Why had he saved it? Some sort of brotherly guilt?

 

Who knew. He wasn’t sure he cared.

 

With Patrick gone, Vadim had been his saving grace. Between Vadim, Yefim, and Scarlett, they’d managed to convince the city council that John hadn’t been at fault. In Patrick’s terminal, they’d found records of what he’d done, which had allowed John to live.

 

And Vadim to take over the city. He’d never figured the barkeep as a Mayor, but hell, stranger things had happened. He couldn’t possibly do a worse job than Patrick or John, right?

 

Scarlett walked into her place, and John froze. He’d only just gotten his mind back, mostly. The day before she’d somehow pulled him back from that edge, but his temper was still thinner than usual. He was easily distracted, confused, not himself.

 

He moved away from the door, not wanting to crowd her. “Hey, sunshine.”

 

She walked toward him, but he stepped backward again.

 

Her frown almost had him apologizing. “What’s the matter?’

 

“Don’t wanna crowd you. Figured you can feel too comfortable around me anymore, not after I went feral on Patrick, after I knocked you around.”

 

“John, I’m not afraid of you.”

 

“You sure about that? Because if it was the other way ‘round, I think I’d be having a few second thoughts. What if I still lose my mind?”

 

She advanced on him until his back hit the wall and he could go no further. “Then I’ll pull you back again. I’m not letting you go ever again, John.” She pressed her hands to his cheeks until he looked at her. “You’re mine, and nothing is going to take you away. Not even going feral.”

 

“How can you still want me?”

 

“Because I’ve always wanted you, and nothing would ever change that. Even out of your mind as you’d been, you took care of me. How can I not be charmed by that?”

 

“I just feel like I fucked everything up.”

 

She brushed her lips against his. “You want to make it up to me?”

 

“Yes, anything. Please, let me make it up to you.”

 

She threw her arms around his neck to pull herself close to him. “Take me back to Goodneighbor, John. I want to go home.”

 

John smiled at that, at the ease and truth of that. He finally not only had a home, but he had one with the woman he loved.

 

It was more than he’d ever hoped to dare for, and he there was no chance he’d ever let it go.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End! :)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Freezing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11841771) by [Reecey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reecey/pseuds/Reecey)




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